THIS MEANS WAR (C-)

Bottom Line: Originally slated for a Valentine’s Day release, because of its promised blend of romance and action (romaction!), THIS MEANS WAR is a shiny, sparsely fun, shallow and almost chemistry-free time waster that may boast a few laughs…but also boasts a few very talented actors who’ve simultaneously decided to take two steps back in their careers (for the moment). Some may find it mildly entertaining…and I guess, it kind of is – but those same people (including myself) will also try and remember what movie they just saw by the time they get home. This glossy gift is nothing more than a beautifully stylish heart-shaped box…with one bite already taken from each chocolate.

Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine, Tom Hardy and Chelsea Handler
Directed by: McG (Charlie’s Angels, We Are Marshall and Terminator Salvation)
Rated: R
Running time: 98 minutes
Story: The world's deadliest CIA operatives are inseparable partners and best friends until they fall for the same woman. Having once helped bring down entire enemy nations, they are now employing their incomparable skills and an endless array of high-tech gadgetry against their greatest nemesis ever - each other. (20th Century Fox)

Trailer: www.thismeanswarmovie.com  

THE TREE OF LIFE (B+)

Bottom Line: Before we get started please know that very few people will actually enjoy this movie…or, for that matter, make it through to the end – understandably, because it’s a pretty whacked out piece of cinema and, for most (the 99%) would make for a frustrating sit. That being said, this cosmically breathtaking, spiritually guided, hauntingly majestic, as well as narratively scattershot and pretentiously distant cinematic examination of grace vs. nature and the meaning of life had me fairly riveted. The scope is immense, the imagery magnificent and the message – yeah, I’m not even really sure what the answer to that one is… For me, the rewatchability factor for this lies in direct contrast to a movie like, say, THE MUPPETS - but if you’re up to the challenge of watching a bold, mesmerizing, symbolic, self-absorbed, inert, abstract, showy, disjointed and meandering piece of pure art – then branch out and give THE TREE OF LIFE a go. You have been warned.


Starring: Brad Pitt, Jessica Chastain and Sean Penn
Directed by: Terrence Mallick
Rated: PG-13
Running time: 138 minutes
Story: The film follows the life journey of the eldest son, Jack, through the innocence of childhood to his disillusioned adult years as he tries to reconcile a complicated relationship with his father. Jack finds himself a lost soul in the modern world, seeking answers to the origins and meaning of life while questioning the existence of faith. Through Malick's signature imagery, we see how both brute nature and spiritual grace shape not only our lives as individuals and families, but all life. (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Trailer: www.foxsearchlight.com/thetreeoflife/  

SAFE HOUSE (C-)

Bottom Line: SAFE HOUSE is the lazy, good-for-almost nothing cinematic offspring of a BOURNE IDENTITY and THE FUGITVE tryst – only nowhere near as good as those titles and devoid of any brains. Denzel and Reynolds do what they do best in delivering the action movie goods – but this slickly frantic, simplistically frenzied and sporadically (rarely) fun government agency double-cross flick feels formulaic and fatigued. It’s a perfectly fine action movie…10 years ago. The SAFE bet here is to catch a matinee or wait for the rental.

Starring: Denzel Washington, Ryan Reynolds, Vera Farmiga and Brendan Gleeson
Directed by: Daniel Espinosa
Rated: R
Running time: 115 minutes
Story: Tobin Frost is the CIA's most dangerous traitor, who stuns the intelligence community when he surfaces in South Africa. When the safe house to which he's remanded is attacked by brutal mercenaries, a rookie is forced to help him escape. As the masterful manipulator toys with his reluctant protege, the young operative finds his morality tested and idealism shaken. Now they must stay alive long enough to uncover who wants them dead. (Universal Pictures)

Trailer: www.nooneissafe.com

JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND (C-/A+/A)

Bottom Line: This movie – created specifically for my 7- and 5- year old boys (who both, again, hand out the A’s with the greatest of ease) – is nothing more than a lazily plotted mish-mash of spectacle, color and light. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson adds a much needed element of gravitas (with a tad of humor) – but, unfortunately, this mysterious land is a place where no idea is too big and any time spent on effectively executing said big idea is too small. The only thing these sudo-ambitious adventurers couldn’t find, apparently, was something for the adults to fully enjoy. If you’re looking to entertain the entire family – then JOURNEY two theaters down and catch the whales-trapped-in-ice movie BIG MIRACLE.

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Josh Hutcherson, Michael Caine, Kristen Davis, Luis Guzman and Vanessa Hudgens
Directed by: Brad Peyton (CATS AND DOGS: THE REVENGE OF KITTY GALORE)
Rated: PG
Running time: 94 minutes
Story: Journey 2: The Mysterious Island begins when 17-year-old Sean Anderson receives a coded distress signal from a mysterious island where no island should exist. It's a place of strange life forms, mountains of gold, deadly volcanoes, and more than one astonishing secret. Unable to stop him from going, Sean's new stepfather, Hank, joins the quest. Together with a helicopter pilot and his beautiful, strong-willed daughter, they set out to find the island, rescue its lone inhabitant and escape before seismic shockwaves force the island under the sea and bury its treasures forever. (New Line Cinema)

Trailer: www.themysteriousisland.com  

BIG MIRACLE (B+/A+/A+)

Bottom Line: A heartfelt, harmless and (at times) happily ham-fisted family friendly flick that delivers precisely what you’d expect…but with more wit and emotion than you actually would expect. Engaging and energetic – the committed cast and crew give this movie enough positive momentum to ensure you and your kids have a whale of a good time! Surprisingly, my 7- and 5-year old boys were locked in and engaged throughout – bestowing A+’s as we left the theater.  A breakfast of popcorn and Icee's, during an early morning screening, will do that sometimes...

Starring: Drew Barrymore, John Krazinski, Kristen Bell, Dermot Mulroney, Tim Blake Nelson, Vinessa Shaw and Ted Danson
Directed by: Ken Kwapis (HE’S JUST NOT THAT IN TO YOU, LICENSE TO WED and DUNSTON CHECKS IN)
Rated: PG
Running time: 107 minutes
Story: Inspired by the true story that captured the hearts of people across the world, the rescue adventure, Big Miracle, tells the amazing tale of a small town news reporter and a Greenpeace volunteer who are joined by rival world superpowers to save a family of majestic gray whales trapped by rapidly forming ice in the Arctic Circle. (Universal Pictures)

Trailer: www.everbodyloveswhales.com  

CHRONICLE (B-)

Bottom Line: Despite its formulaic, broken record philosophy of (all together now) with great power comes great responsibility – this 83-minute, low budget, ‘found footage’ BLAIR WITCH PROJECT meets HEROES hybrid does a fairly solid job of keeping things exploratorily engaging and energetically paced. It’s not without its flaws, but if you’re a fan of the people-with-special-powers genre then you might want to give this one a look…otherwise, it won’t be so super.


Starring: Michael B. Jordan, Alex Russell and Dane DeHaan
Directed by: Josh Trank
Rated: PG-13
Running time: 83 minutes
Story: Three high school students make an incredible discovery, leading to them developing uncanny powers beyond their understanding. As they learn to control their abilities, and use them to their advantage, their lives start to spin out of control, and their darker sides begin to take over. (20th Century Fox)

Trailer: www.facebook.com/chronicle

THE GREY (B+)

Bottom Line: A tightly wound, philosophically wrapped, beautifully shot and ferociously exciting, Alaskan Wilderness, Jack London-esque survival thriller. Fans of the genre might wish for a little less talking and a little more Liam-Neeson-punches-a-wolf-in-the-face-action, but this well made, grippingly brutal man vs. wilderness, guy’s guy popcorn flick stands and delivers! No GREY area here…this is the most fun you’ll have at the movies this month.


Starring: Liam Neeson and Dermot Mulroney
Directed by: Joe Carnahan (THE A-TEAM, SMOKIN’ ACES and NARC)
Rated: R
Running time: 117 minutes
Story: In The Grey, Liam Neeson leads an unruly group of oil-rig roughnecks when their plane crashes into the remote Alaskan wilderness. Battling mortal injuries and merciless weather, the survivors have only a few days to escape the icy elements – and a vicious pack of rogue wolves on the hunt – before their time runs out. (Open Road Films)

Trailer: www.thegreythemovie.com

MAN ON A LEDGE (D+)

Bottom Line: Unfortunately, an intriguing hook and vivid movie poster don’t amount to much in this largely disposable, paint-by-numbers heist thriller. I’m guessing the few who do enjoy this largely implausible, poorly-scripted yet mildly diverting generic ride will more than likely forget it all in a week’s time… With all its wannabe, big action preening and limply manufactured thrills – I kind of wish this MAN ON A LEDGE would have jumped.


Starring: Sam Worthington, Jamie Bell, Anthony Mackey, Elizabeth Banks, Edward Burns and Ed Harris
Directed by: Asger Leth
Rated: PG-13
Running time: 102 minutes
Story: Nick Cassidy makes a desperate and life-threatening move to prove his innocence after he is framed for the theft of a rare, prized diamond. Recently escaped from prison and with nowhere else to go, Nick climbs onto the ledge of a towering skyscraper, inviting the eyes of New York City to anxiously watch as one wrong step could mean plunging to his death. But as one police negotiator soon learns, Nick's daredevil stunt, captivating the eyes of the public and media, masks a dangerous ploy to reveal the truth about his tarnished name. With the help of his brother and with time running out, Nick's intricate plan must work perfectly, but when you're on the 25th floor ledge of a building, going down takes on an entirely more hair-raising meaning. (Summit Entertainment)

Trailer: www.manonaledge.com

HAYWIRE (B)

Bottom Line: THE BOURNE ESTROGEN! This slimmed-down, bare-knuckled, slow-burn, art-house action revenge flick sizzles with the white hot presence of a first time leading lady/former Mixed Martial Arts star, a talented director and a willing, able and well known, star-studded cast. We may have seen this all before (in one action form or another) and I guess it could have been a bit more haywire-y-er…but it’s a lot more fun when the female leading the charge can actually kick some a**!


Starring: Gina Carano, Ewen McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Bill Paxton, Channing Tatum, Michael Douglas and Antonio Banderas
Directed by: Steven Soderbergh (TRAFFIC; OCEAN’S 11-13 and CONTAGION)
Rated: PG-13
Running time: 93 minutes
Story: Mallory Kane is a highly trained operative who works for a government security contractor in the dirtiest, most dangerous corners of the world. After successfully freeing a Chinese journalist held hostage, she is double crossed and left for dead by someone close to her in her own agency. Suddenly the target of skilled assassins who know her every move, Mallory must find the truth in order to stay alive. Using her black-ops military training, she devises an ingenious—and dangerous—trap. But when things go haywire, Mallory realizes she’ll be killed in the blink of an eye unless she finds a way to turn the tables on her ruthless adversary. (Relativity Media)

Trailer: www.haywiremovie.com

EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE (B-)

Bottom Line: This very well made and awkwardly uneven film was INCREDIBLY CLOSE to pulling me in, full bore, with its tale of loss, grief and hope yet EXTREMELY LOUD in its pretentious shout for Oscar gold (the distancing, mostly-grating, 11-year old lead actor probably didn’t help either). There’s a cornucopia of emotion up for grabs and it’s sometimes powerful, occasionally touching…but almost always about as manipulatingly subtle as a pillowcase of unopened soda cans to the head. It’s a good movie…but not THAT good…


Starring: Thomas Horn, Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, Jeffrey Wright, Viola Davis, John Goodman and Max Von Sydow
Directed by: Stephen Daldry (BILLY ELLIOT, THE HOURS and THE READER)
Rated: PG-13
Running time: 129 minutes
Story: Oskar is convinced that his father, who died in the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center, has left a final message for him hidden somewhere in the city. Feeling disconnected from his grieving mother and driven by a relentlessly active mind that refuses to believe in things that can't be observed, Oskar begins searching New York City for the lock that fits a mysterious key he found in his father's closet. His journey through the five boroughs takes him beyond his own loss to a greater understanding of the observable world around him. (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Trailer: www.extremelyloudandincrediblyclose.warnerbros.com