BRIAN THE MOVIE GUY

SAFE HOUSE (C-)

2012-02-09T22:47:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: SAFE HOUSE is the lazy, good-for-almost nothing cinematic offspring of a BOURNE IDENTITY and THE FUGITVE tryst – only nowhere near as good as those titles and devoid of any brains. Denzel and Reynolds do what they do best in delivering the action movie goods – but this slickly frantic, simplistically frenzied and sporadically (rarely) fun government agency double-cross flick feels formulaic and fatigued. It’s a perfectly fine action movie…10 years ago. The SAFE bet here is to catch a matinee or wait for the rental.

Starring: Denzel Washington, Ryan Reynolds, Vera Farmiga and Brendan Gleeson
Directed by: Daniel Espinosa
Rated: R
Running time: 115 minutes
Story: Tobin Frost is the CIA's most dangerous traitor, who stuns the intelligence community when he surfaces in South Africa. When the safe house to which he's remanded is attacked by brutal mercenaries, a rookie is forced to help him escape. As the masterful manipulator toys with his reluctant protege, the young operative finds his morality tested and idealism shaken. Now they must stay alive long enough to uncover who wants them dead. (Universal Pictures)

Trailer: www.nooneissafe.com

JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND (C-/A+/A)

2012-02-09T22:43:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: This movie – created specifically for my 7- and 5- year old boys (who both, again, hand out the A’s with the greatest of ease) – is nothing more than a lazily plotted mish-mash of spectacle, color and light. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson adds a much needed element of gravitas (with a tad of humor) – but, unfortunately, this mysterious land is a place where no idea is too big and any time spent on effectively executing said big idea is too small. The only thing these sudo-ambitious adventurers couldn’t find, apparently, was something for the adults to fully enjoy. If you’re looking to entertain the entire family – then JOURNEY two theaters down and catch the whales-trapped-in-ice movie BIG MIRACLE.

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Josh Hutcherson, Michael Caine, Kristen Davis, Luis Guzman and Vanessa Hudgens
Directed by: Brad Peyton (CATS AND DOGS: THE REVENGE OF KITTY GALORE)
Rated: PG
Running time: 94 minutes
Story: Journey 2: The Mysterious Island begins when 17-year-old Sean Anderson receives a coded distress signal from a mysterious island where no island should exist. It's a place of strange life forms, mountains of gold, deadly volcanoes, and more than one astonishing secret. Unable to stop him from going, Sean's new stepfather, Hank, joins the quest. Together with a helicopter pilot and his beautiful, strong-willed daughter, they set out to find the island, rescue its lone inhabitant and escape before seismic shockwaves force the island under the sea and bury its treasures forever. (New Line Cinema)

Trailer: www.themysteriousisland.com

BIG MIRACLE (B+/A+/A+)

2012-02-02T22:57:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: A heartfelt, harmless and (at times) happily ham-fisted family friendly flick that delivers precisely what you’d expect…but with more wit and emotion than you actually would expect. Engaging and energetic – the committed cast and crew give this movie enough positive momentum to ensure you and your kids have a whale of a good time! Surprisingly, my 7- and 5-year old boys were locked in and engaged throughout – bestowing A+’s as we left the theater. A breakfast of popcorn and Icee's, during an early morning screening, will do that sometimes...

Starring: Drew Barrymore, John Krazinski, Kristen Bell, Dermot Mulroney, Tim Blake Nelson, Vinessa Shaw and Ted Danson
Directed by: Ken Kwapis (HE’S JUST NOT THAT IN TO YOU, LICENSE TO WED and DUNSTON CHECKS IN)
Rated: PG
Running time: 107 minutes
Story: Inspired by the true story that captured the hearts of people across the world, the rescue adventure, Big Miracle, tells the amazing tale of a small town news reporter and a Greenpeace volunteer who are joined by rival world superpowers to save a family of majestic gray whales trapped by rapidly forming ice in the Arctic Circle. (Universal Pictures)

Trailer: www.everbodyloveswhales.com

CHRONICLE (B-)

2012-02-02T22:55:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: Despite its formulaic, broken record philosophy of (all together now) with great power comes great responsibility – this 83-minute, low budget, ‘found footage’ BLAIR WITCH PROJECT meets HEROES hybrid does a fairly solid job of keeping things exploratorily engaging and energetically paced. It’s not without its flaws, but if you’re a fan of the people-with-special-powers genre then you might want to give this one a look…otherwise, it won’t be so super.

Starring: Michael B. Jordan, Alex Russell and Dane DeHaan
Directed by: Josh Trank
Rated: PG-13
Running time: 83 minutes
Story: Three high school students make an incredible discovery, leading to them developing uncanny powers beyond their understanding. As they learn to control their abilities, and use them to their advantage, their lives start to spin out of control, and their darker sides begin to take over. (20th Century Fox)

Trailer: www.facebook.com/chronicle

THE GREY (B+)

2012-01-27T06:57:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: A tightly wound, philosophically wrapped, beautifully shot and ferociously exciting, Alaskan Wilderness, Jack London-esque survival thriller. Fans of the genre might wish for a little less talking and a little more Liam-Neeson-punches-a-wolf-in-the-face-action, but this well made, grippingly brutal man vs. wilderness, guy’s guy popcorn flick stands and delivers! No GREY area here…this is the most fun you’ll have at the movies this month.

Starring: Liam Neeson and Dermot Mulroney
Directed by: Joe Carnahan (THE A-TEAM, SMOKIN’ ACES and NARC)
Rated: R
Running time: 117 minutes
Story: In The Grey, Liam Neeson leads an unruly group of oil-rig roughnecks when their plane crashes into the remote Alaskan wilderness. Battling mortal injuries and merciless weather, the survivors have only a few days to escape the icy elements – and a vicious pack of rogue wolves on the hunt – before their time runs out. (Open Road Films)

Trailer: www.thegreythemovie.com

MAN ON A LEDGE (D+)

2012-01-27T06:55:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: Unfortunately, an intriguing hook and vivid movie poster don’t amount to much in this largely disposable, paint-by-numbers heist thriller. I’m guessing the few who do enjoy this largely implausible, poorly-scripted yet mildly diverting generic ride will more than likely forget it all in a week’s time… With all its wannabe, big action preening and limply manufactured thrills – I kind of wish this MAN ON A LEDGE would have jumped.

Starring: Sam Worthington, Jamie Bell, Anthony Mackey, Elizabeth Banks, Edward Burns and Ed Harris
Directed by: Asger Leth
Rated: PG-13
Running time: 102 minutes
Story: Nick Cassidy makes a desperate and life-threatening move to prove his innocence after he is framed for the theft of a rare, prized diamond. Recently escaped from prison and with nowhere else to go, Nick climbs onto the ledge of a towering skyscraper, inviting the eyes of New York City to anxiously watch as one wrong step could mean plunging to his death. But as one police negotiator soon learns, Nick's daredevil stunt, captivating the eyes of the public and media, masks a dangerous ploy to reveal the truth about his tarnished name. With the help of his brother and with time running out, Nick's intricate plan must work perfectly, but when you're on the 25th floor ledge of a building, going down takes on an entirely more hair-raising meaning. (Summit Entertainment)

Trailer: www.manonaledge.com

HAYWIRE (B)

2012-01-20T07:12:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: THE BOURNE ESTROGEN! This slimmed-down, bare-knuckled, slow-burn, art-house action revenge flick sizzles with the white hot presence of a first time leading lady/former Mixed Martial Arts star, a talented director and a willing, able and well known, star-studded cast. We may have seen this all before (in one action form or another) and I guess it could have been a bit more haywire-y-er…but it’s a lot more fun when the female leading the charge can actually kick some a**!

Starring: Gina Carano, Ewen McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Bill Paxton, Channing Tatum, Michael Douglas and Antonio Banderas
Directed by: Steven Soderbergh (TRAFFIC; OCEAN’S 11-13 and CONTAGION)
Rated: PG-13
Running time: 93 minutes
Story: Mallory Kane is a highly trained operative who works for a government security contractor in the dirtiest, most dangerous corners of the world. After successfully freeing a Chinese journalist held hostage, she is double crossed and left for dead by someone close to her in her own agency. Suddenly the target of skilled assassins who know her every move, Mallory must find the truth in order to stay alive. Using her black-ops military training, she devises an ingenious—and dangerous—trap. But when things go haywire, Mallory realizes she’ll be killed in the blink of an eye unless she finds a way to turn the tables on her ruthless adversary. (Relativity Media)

Trailer: www.haywiremovie.com

EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE (B-)

2012-01-20T07:11:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: This very well made and awkwardly uneven film was INCREDIBLY CLOSE to pulling me in, full bore, with its tale of loss, grief and hope yet EXTREMELY LOUD in its pretentious shout for Oscar gold (the distancing, mostly-grating, 11-year old lead actor probably didn’t help either). There’s a cornucopia of emotion up for grabs and it’s sometimes powerful, occasionally touching…but almost always about as manipulatingly subtle as a pillowcase of unopened soda cans to the head. It’s a good movie…but not THAT good…

Starring: Thomas Horn, Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, Jeffrey Wright, Viola Davis, John Goodman and Max Von Sydow
Directed by: Stephen Daldry (BILLY ELLIOT, THE HOURS and THE READER)
Rated: PG-13
Running time: 129 minutes
Story: Oskar is convinced that his father, who died in the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center, has left a final message for him hidden somewhere in the city. Feeling disconnected from his grieving mother and driven by a relentlessly active mind that refuses to believe in things that can't be observed, Oskar begins searching New York City for the lock that fits a mysterious key he found in his father's closet. His journey through the five boroughs takes him beyond his own loss to a greater understanding of the observable world around him. (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Trailer: www.extremelyloudandincrediblyclose.warnerbros.com

RED TAILS (C+)

2012-01-20T07:07:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: A heroic story that deserved far more coverage than its two-hour, big screen running time would allow – this slice of World War II history would have been a welcome and ideal candidate for an HBO mini-series (think BAND OF BROTHERS; THE PACIFIC). As it stands, RED TAILS soars with outstanding visual thrills when the Tuskegee crew takes flight but is a narratively scattershot, melodramatic hodgepodge of broad brushed-stroked characters, choppy editing and corny dialogue that stalls every time the airmen touch the ground.

Starring: Cuba Gooding Jr., Terrence Howard, Nate Parker, Tristan Wilds, Ne-Yo, David Oyelowo, Daniela Ruah and Lee Tergesen
Directed by: Anthony Hemingway
Rated: PG-13
Running time: 120 minutes
Story: Red Tails begins its story with World War II in full swing. As the war continues to take its toll on Allied Forces in Europe, the Pentagon brass, desperate to protect their dwindling numbers of bombers look to an option previously considered unthinkable. At long last they give The Tuskegee Airmen the chance to prove themselves in battle and forever put to rest the misplaced belief that blacks lacked the courage, discipline and intelligence to be fighter pilots. Against all the odds, with something to prove and everything to lose, these intrepid young airmen take to the skies in awe inspiring displays of bravery and heroism to fight for their country and with it, the fate of the free world. (20th Century Fox)

Trailer: www.redtails2012.com

CONTRABAND (D)

2012-01-12T22:59:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: More like CONTRA-BLAND. Wahlberg’s latest may host a more talented cast than any January released movie has a right to but it all still adds up to little more than a funky bunch of convoluted, predictable, recycled and rhythmless heist-like high jinks. …and the few slight thrills that do exist don’t even happen until the remaining minutes of the final act – as if someone looked at their watch while filming and thought, ‘Whoa, we need to wrap this thing up’. Too little too late, Bahsten Mahk – say ‘Hi’ to yah mutha for me…

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Kate Beckinsale, Ben Foster and Giovanni Ribisi
Rated: R
Directed by: Baltasar Kormakur
Running time: 110 minutes
Story: Chris Farraday long ago abandoned his life of crime, but after his brother-in-law, Andy, botches a drug deal for his ruthless boss, Tim Briggs, Chris is forced back into doing what he does best--running contraband--to settle Andy's debt. Chris is a legendary smuggler and quickly assembles a crew with the help of his best friend, Sebastian, to head to Panama and return with millions in counterfeit bills. Things quickly fall apart and with only hours to reach the cash, Chris must use his rusty skills to successfully navigate a treacherous criminal network of brutal drug lords, cops and hit men before his wife, Kate, and sons become their target. (Universal Pictures)

Trailer: www.contrabandmovie.net

RENT MONEYBALL TONIGHT!

2012-01-09T23:07:00.000-08:00

...because it's now available on DVD and Bluray - it's the SOCIAL NETWORK of sports movies - it's one of Brad Pitt's most audience friendly roles - it's a great movie - and it clocked in at #1 on my Favorite Movies of 2011 list... I'm predicting Oscar noms for Picture, Director, Actor and Screenplay (maybe even Jonah Hill for Supporting Actor...yes, that Jonah Hill) on this one.

Who am I?! I'm Brian the Movie Guy and I'm almost always right...usually. Trust me on this one - you can't miss!

BTMG's FAVORITE 15 of 2011

2011-12-29T02:44:00.000-08:00

Just to be clear, this list (for the most part) is not an attempt to play the ‘I’m-a-movie-critic-and-therefore-know-more-about-cinema-than-you’ card. You’ll see many a critic pull this trick at year’s end – forging lists comprised of movies you’ve never even heard of… Peppering it with movies you’ll never even see. There is a place for that kind of list making – but not here. Yes, there are some on here with art house flair. Movies that may have existed on the silver screen for less than a month – but they’re ones that, I think, would play well to the masses if the masses would have ‘em. My choices are based on movies that I’ll actually want to watch again – perhaps even many times over. Please keep in mind that first and foremost, I’m a fan of movies that entertain – a critic second – now, on to my favorite fifteen movies of 2011…

#1 MONEYBALL
The SOCIAL NETWORK of sports movies! It’s effective, efficient, entertaining and Brad Pitt shines in one of his most accessible roles to date (his Jerry Maguire moment). It’s an involving, intelligent, character-driven, savvy and beautifully shot future multi-Oscar nominated film that doesn’t require your liking of baseball – just your appreciation of really good movies. MONEYBALL is a homerun!

**PREDICTED OSCAR NOMINATIONS: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, best Cinematography and Best Actor

#2 THE DESCENDANTS
Although a little depressing at times, it still moves with a cool, calm and soothing charm. It’s a sharp, hopeful, heartfelt, compassionate, touching, heartbreaking and occasionally funny story of one man’s attempt at letting go of the past and coming to grips with his uncertain future. Catch George Clooney giving one of his best performances to date…

**PREDICTED OSCAR NOMINATIONS: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Cinematography and Best Screenplay

#3 WARRIOR
A hard-hitting, dysfunctional family, art-house, cage-fighting formulaic sports drama who’s formulaic pieces fit perfectly together. The three main leads all deliver gritty, brutal, sympathetic, well-developed performances. Its last year’s THE FIGHTER meets 1979’s ROCKY – but this time out we get two Rocky Balboa’s to root for… It’ll knock you out!

**PREDICTED OSCAR NOMINATIONS: Best Supporting Actor

#4 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE-GHOST PROTOCOL
This thrillingly ballistic, non-stop, high-stakes, globetrotting, death-defying, dazzling and breakneck-paced fourth installment of the hit-and-miss MISSION franchise is the new bar by which all like-minded, cartoonishly fun action flicks should be measured. The most fun I had at the movies all year – and, really, isn’t that what it’s all about?!

#5 MIDNIGHT IN PARIS
Easily one of Woody Allen’s most accessibly charming films. It’s romantic, poetic, intelligent, funny and sparkles with its joyous celebration of love, art and the titular city itself. This is one that I think most anyone would enjoy…

**PREDICTED OSCAR NOMINATIONS: Best Picture and Best Original Screenplay

#6 THE ARTIST
In black-and-white and with no sound (aside from music), THE ARTIST is a gimmick movie – but a gimmick that’s delivered with shockingly effective results. It’s a slimmed-down, charming, captivating and whimsical ode to old Hollywood that entertains with gentle touches of humor, romance and showmanship.

PREDICTED OSCAR NOMINATIONS: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Art Direction, Best Cinematography and Best Score

#7 THE MUPPETS
I have no idea why there are so many songs about rainbows – but I hope a sequel to this nostalgically exuberant, innocently heartfelt and Vaudvillian-esque comedy is on the other side. THE MUPPETS makes for a simple, charming, clever and enjoyable night for the entire family!

#8 ANONYMOUS
Luscious set design, a haunting score, marvelous performances and a seedy underbelly of lies, betrayal and deceit make this a taut, political potboiler worth every penny – and a tale of The Bard that won’t leave you bored.

#9 X-MEN: FIRST CLASS
The recently lumbering X-MEN franchise finally moves again with speed and grace. Intelligent, engaging and action-packed. It’s easily the best superhero flick of the year.

#10 HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART II
I am not a Pott-Head and have never been emotionally invested in the geeky drama of the Hogwart’s gang. That being said, this final installment is exciting, exhilarating and spellbinding. The drama is gripping, the action is intense, the scope is epic and, should you be a fan of blockbuster films in general, the movie delivers on every single cinematic level imaginable (aside from, maybe, a solid tug of the heartstrings). Simply put, it’s magical!

**PREDICTED OSCAR NOMINATIONS: Best Editing, Best Visual Effects, Best Sound Mixing and Best Sound Design

#11 RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
A riveting, compelling and thrilling piece of campy, B-level, drive-in theater, popcorn cinema. Through the use of mind-bending special effects and simple yet effective scriptwriting APES evolves in to an adventurous, action-packed and emotionally-taught edge-of-your-seat story of compassion turned ignorance.

**PREDICTED OSCAR NOMINATIONS: Best Visual Effects, Best Sound Mixing and Best Sound Design

#12 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER
A spirited, simple, beautifully designed, stylistically retro, good ol’ fashioned, popcorn-munching, crowd-pleasing blockbuster – the acting is solid, the script is tight and the fun is infectious.

#13 SOURCE CODE
GROUNDHOG DAY meets SPEED by way of television’s QUANTUM LEAP. It’s a smart, fun, breezy, easily-accessible, straight-shooting, action-packed, romantic sci-fi thriller.

#14 THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO
A captivatingly tense, edgy, brutally bleak, razor-sharp and gruesomely slow-burn thriller. It’s a feel bad movie – but a really good feel bad movie.

**PREDICTED OSCAR NOMINATIONS: Best Actress, Best Editing and Best Adapted Screenplay

#15 SUPER 8
A nostalgic, Spielberg-esque, slice-of-life meets sci-fi summer crowd pleaser, SUPER 8 succeeds on almost every intended level: masterfully made, beautifully shot, tightly written and expertly acted. It’s an intelligent, funny, exciting, thrilling, suspenseful and touching tale. It was a ton of fun, however, that would have benefitted from a more emotional punch to the gut.

HONORABLE MENTION (movies that were oh-so-close to making this list): Hugo, The Lincoln Lawyer, Bridesmaids, 50/50, Attack the Block, Drive, The Adjustment Bureau, Rango, Win Win, Beginners, The Help, The Ides of March, Hannah and Margin Call

ALMOST THERE (movies I enjoyed but they never had a shot at making my top 15 list): Horrible Bosses, Real Steel, Footloose, Disneynature’s African Cats, Puss in Boots, Contagion, Thor, Cars 2, We Bought a Zoo, Fast Five, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, The Change-Up, Tower Heist, Larry Crowne, Rio, Arthur Christmas, No Strings Attached, Friends with Benefits, Happy Feet Two, Winnie the Pooh, Kung Fu Panda 2, The Beaver, The Dilemma, Fright Night, Paul, Limitless and Mr. Popper’s Penguins

WHAT A WASTE (movies that just flat out let me down – but still didn’t crack my worst of 2011 list): War Horse, Sherlock Homes: A Game of Shadows, Young Adult, The Big Year, Cowboys and Aliens, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Battle: Los Angeles, Colombiana, The Eagle, The Rum Diary, Hall Pass, I Am Number Four, Killer Elite and Just Go With It

Brian the Movie Guy, the Northwest’s most listened to movie critic, can be heard every week on KOMO Newsradio AM 1000/97.7 FM, STAR 101.5 FM and Smart Talk 570 KVI!

BTMG's WORST 15 of 2011

2011-12-29T02:17:00.000-08:00

It’s a pretty self explanatory title. These movies were either just plain awful or promises of something way better – whose gargantuan stumbles were too large to ignore. Please feel free to chime in if you think I’m way off base… I’m not, ‘cause it’s my opinion, but I always enjoy a little chiming.

#15 IN TIME
This Justin Timberlake movie felt out of sync. It’s a mostly dull and forgettable futuristic one-trick pony with an unexplained hook, shoddy production values and overall drabness that left me a little ticked.

#14 THE HANGOVER: PART II
A predictable, flat and uninspired movie that almost completely squanders the good will earned by its exceptionally funny and creative predecessor. It’s a cruder, colder and crueler sequel that made me wish I was actually hungover at home on my couch (instead of in the theater watching it).

#13 TRANSFORMERS: THE DARK OF THE MOON
A spectacular pile-up of uncreativity that lacks in depth, dialogue and character and for 2 ½ hours numbs the mind, aches the head and brutally assaults all five senses (yes, somehow, even touch, taste and smell). Instead of seeing it you should simply drive a car thru a paint store, with a metal trashcan full of lit fireworks in the passenger seat – you’ll experience the same thing. TRANSFORMERS 3 was less than meets the eye.

#12 THE GREEN HORNET
An overblown and obnoxious action/comedy. There may have been a lot of buzz for THE GREEN HORNET but if you’re paying actual money to see it…then you’re gonna get stung.

#11 J.EDGAR
Not unlike the surname of the titular figure in this snail-paced biopic – J. EDGAR (Hoover) kind of sucks. It’s a heavy-handed, disjointed, clunky, passionless and boring story of an immensely controversial man. At 137 minutes long – this movie was a drag.

#10 JUST GO WITH IT
I love when a film’s title asks you to tolerate the movie before you’ve even seen it. Another Sandler misfire that’s lazy, limp and sophomoric.

#9 TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT
This John Hughes-like romp through the 80’s is a giant swing and miss. The title alone suggested we skip it in theaters (which most everyone did) and watch at home. I wouldn’t even suggest doing that…

#8 YOUR HIGHNESS
This medieval stoner comedy is a somewhat noble idea that’s ultimately bogged down by too much unfunny vulgarity and not enough creative thought. YOUR LOW-NESS is an unfunny, often flat, rarely involving, mostly shocking and always raunchy crusade.

#7 I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT
Because Sarah Jessica Parker is playing the same character she always does (except this time a married, workaholic mother of two…but still, really, the same person) this feels more like NO SEX AND THE KIDDIES. The few existing laughs are in place to make you forget the lot of clichés and the about-as-subtle-as-a-sledge-hammer message – which, ultimately rings false. A girl can have everything she wants…as long as she’s hired the right nanny.

#6 GREEN LANTERN
A cookie-cutter, incohesive, silly and dull superhero movie. It’s a nonsensical mish-mash of spastic colors, shiny objects, loud noises, lazy acting, cheesy dialogue and slap-it-together editing.

#5 THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN: PART I
A bland, overly-melodramtic, woodenly-acted and poorly-scripted movie. It doesn't break dawn...it breaks wind (like all the others). This vampire series still sucks but I applaud the loyalty of its glass-is-half-full audience.

#4 CONAN THE BARBARIAN
Lower your expectations. No, I mean really lower ‘em… This unoriginal and unremarkable remake is a horribly scripted, unpurposely campy, woefully nonsensical, cartoonishly action-packed, lamentably dull, overly blood-soaked, hackfully misdirected and painfully emotionless, cinematic bore. It’s not even so bad it’s good.

#3 NEW YEAR’S EVE
More like NEW YEAR’S HEAVE. Fight your misplaced urge to see this and buy a copy of US Magazine instead – you’ll still see the many, many stars that inhabit this film…you just won’t have to hear ‘em spit out awful dialogue. Stars! They’re just like us – except we don’t make awful movies. Painfully written, lazily acted, clumsily directed and edited by what I can only assume were six or seven chimpanzees locked in a Red Bull canning factory. Let’s spend this upcoming New Year’s Eve forgetting new acquaintances – like this movie – and never, NEVER bring them to mind.

#2 SUCKER PUNCH
A boring, non-sensical, amped-up, tone-deaf, hyper-active, unoriginal, over-caffeinated, self-indulgent, all-over-the-map, check-your-watch-multiple-times-because-it-feels-like-it-should-have-ended-long-ago waste of celluloid space.

#1 JACK AND JILL
This bumbling, clunky, lazy, embarrassing, ridiculous, preposterous and unfunny colossal waste of time is easily one of the worst movies made in decades. It’s a sort of sick, twisted and not-to-elaborate Hollywood hoax where one of comedy’s biggest kings throws cinematic excrement at the screen for 93 minutes and hopes we’ll laugh. Hopefully JACK AND JILL will fall down and break Sandler’s box office crown.

Brian the Movie Guy, the Northwest’s most listened to movie critic, can be heard every week on KOMO Newsradio AM 1000/97.7 FM, STAR 101.5 FM and Smart Talk 570 KVI!

WAR HORSE (C+)

2011-12-22T08:29:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: Leaving no (at times now, clichéd) Spielbergian cinema trick stone unturned, The Bearded One himself brings us a well-crafted, beautifully shot, and, unfortunately, often shoulder-shrug-worthy tale of a boy and his horse. It may have bolted from the starting gate full of Best Picture buzz but it, ultimately and sadly, trots to the finish line without a focused care in the world. Sometimes brilliant yet often misguided, this BLACK STALLION meets SAVING PRIVATE RYAN by way of E.T. THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL hybrid tries so hard to be Oscar-worthy – that it actually, somehow, forgets to deliver a deliberate emotional kick. My heartstrings were yours for the pulling, Steven…better luck next time.

Rated: PG-13
Starring: Jeremy Irvine, Peter Mullan, Emily Watson and Tom Hiddleston
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Running time: 146 minutes
Story: Set against a sweeping canvas of rural England and Europe during the First World War, War Horse begins with the remarkable friendship between a horse named Joey and a young man called Albert, who tames and trains him. When they are forcefully parted, the film follows the extraordinary journey of the horse as he moves through the war, changing and inspiring the lives of all those he meets—British cavalry, German soldiers, and a French farmer and his granddaughter—before the story reaches its emotional climax in the heart of No Man's Land. The First World War is experienced through the journey of this horse—an odyssey of joy and sorrow, passionate friendship and high adventure. War Horse is one of the great stories of friendship and war—a successful book, it was turned into a hugely successful international theatrical hit that is arriving on Broadway next year. It now comes to screen in an epic adaptation by one of the great directors in film history. (DreamWorks Pictures)

Trailer: www.warhorsemovie.com

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (B+)

2011-12-22T08:10:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: Based on the international best seller and the highly rated Swedish film of the same name (two things I neither saw nor read) this is director David Fincher’s shot at another Oscar – after, unfortunately, not winning last year for the remarkable THE SOCIAL NETWORK. This captivatingly tense, brutally bleak, gruesomely slow-burn thriller may have a few minor bumps along the way – like being too brutal, bleak and gruesome – but it’s still an edgy, razor-sharp, well constructed and superbly acted (actress Rooney Mara deserves a nom), cinematic nail-biter. A solid movie for those who can handle it, DRAGON TATTOO is, indeed, the feel bad movie of the holidays!

Rated: R
Starring: Daniel Craig, Rooney Mara, Robin Wright, Stellan Skarsgard and Christopher Plummer
Directed by: David Fincher
Running time: 158 minutes
Story: Based on Stieg Larsson's posthumously published crime thriller trilogy, "The Millennium Series." The book describes the mystery surrounding the long-unsolved disappearance of an heiress. A journalist recently dinged by a libel case and a young female hacker try to resolve it, stirring up bundles of personal and industrial corruption along the way. (Sony Pictures)

Trailer: http://www.dragontattoo.net/

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE-GHOST PROTOCOL (A)

2011-12-16T06:39:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: This thrillingly ballistic, non-stop, high-stakes, globetrotting, death-defying, dazzling and breakneck-paced fourth installment of the hit-and-miss MISSION franchise is the new bar by which all like-minded, cartoonishly fun action flicks should be measured. You can consume intimate arthouse fare at home, in a bathrobe with a log of Fig Newtons - but GHOST PROTOCOL is exactly why they build huge multiplexes and it makes for one heck of a good reason to shovel butter-soaked, over-salted popcorn down your gullet for 133 minutes. The most fun I’ve had at a movie all year… Mission: Complete!

Rated: PG-13
Starring: Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Paula Patton and Simon Pegg
Directed by: Brad Bird
Running time: 133 minutes
Story: Blamed for the terrorist bombing of the Kremlin, IMF operative Ethan Hunt is disavowed along with the rest of the agency when the President initiates "Ghost Protocol". Left without any resources or backup, Ethan must find a way to clear his agency's name and prevent another attack. To complicate matters further, Ethan is forced to embark on this mission with a team of fellow IMF fugitives whose personal motives he does not fully know. (Paramount Pictures)

Trailer: www.missionimpossible.com

SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS (C-)

2011-12-16T06:36:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: Like its predecessor, SHERLOCK HOLMES 2 will probably please the many movie-going masses that flock to see it – but this Chinese dinner movie (meaning you’re hungry for a more substantial movie thirty minutes later) coasts along solely on the rightfully earned, charismatic charm of Robert Downey Jr. I’ll throw a few bonus points its way for the solid last 12-minutes and a deliciously deviant villain – but this movie, as a whole, is elementary – as in an elementary school student could have written a stronger, more compelling story.

Rated: PG-13
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Noomi Rapace and Jared Harris
Directed by: Guy Ritchie
Running time: 129 minutes
Story: Sherlock Holmes has always been the smartest man in the room... until now. There is a new criminal mastermind at large—Professor Moriarty—and not only is he Holmes' intellectual equal, but his capacity for evil, coupled with a complete lack of conscience, may actually give him an advantage over the renowned detective. When the Crown Prince of Austria is found dead, the evidence, as construed by Inspector Lestrade, points to suicide. But Sherlock Holmes deduces that the prince has been the victim of murder—a murder that is only one piece of a larger and much more portentous puzzle, designed by Professor Moriarty. The cunning Moriarty is always one step ahead of Holmes as he spins a web of death and destruction—all part of a greater plan that, if he succeeds, will change the course of history. (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Trailer: www.sherlockholmes2.warnerbros.com

YOUNG ADULT (C+)

2011-12-16T06:34:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: Even though it’s from Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody - the director and writer one-two punch behind 2007’s JUNO (Oscar nominations for picture, director, actress; plus a win for best screenplay) this feels like a step in the wrong direction. Not a big step – but a step nonetheless. The story too simplistic and thin, the main character too emotionally void, the issues (depression, alcoholism, potential adultery) handled with laughs and zero sympathy. Charlize Theron does a great job – going full bore on an ugly-on-the-inside character – but it’s hard to rally behind someone so emotionally distant and bitter. I just didn’t care. It’s an awkwardly cringe worthy movie with some funny bits – but this YOUNG ADULT could have used a little more grown-up supervision.

Rated: R
Starring: Charlize Theron, Patton Oswalt and Patrick Wilson
Directed by: Jason Reitman
Running time: 94 minutes
Story: Mavis Gary is a writer of teen literature who returns to her small hometown to relive her glory days and attempt to reclaim her happily married high school sweetheart. When returning home proves more difficult than she thought, Mavis forms an unusual bond with a former classmate who hasn't quite gotten over high school, either. (Paramount Pictures)

Trailer: www.youngadultmovie.com

NEW YEAR'S EVE (F)

2011-12-09T07:23:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: Here’s a quick way to save a few bucks – fight your misplaced urge to see the dreadfully laughable NEW YEAR’S HEAVE this weekend, stop by your local newsstand and purchase a copy of US Magazine instead. You may miss Michelle Pfeiffer do one of the worst bits of acting ever committed to the big screen by a multi-Oscar nominated actress – but you’ll save money and still get to see candid celebrity photos of all the stars who prostituted their ‘talents’ to be in this ridiculous movie. Stars! They’re just like us – except we don’t make awful movies. Painfully written, lazily acted, clumsily directed and edited by what I can only assume were six or seven chimpanzees locked in a Red Bull canning factory – this simple minded big screen cousin to the equally vomit-inducing VALENTINE’S DAY is the cinematic equivalent of a low-level purse snatcher. Yeah, maybe I’m not the demo they’re looking for but when my wife leans over, not 20 minutes in, and whispers ‘this is awful’ – I knew they missed their mark. Let’s spend this upcoming New Year’s Eve forgetting new acquaintances – like this movie – and never, NEVER bring them to mind.

Rated: PG-13
Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Biel, Halle Berry, Hilary Swank, Josh Duhamel, Zac Efron, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Katherine Heigl, Seth Meyers, Jon Bon Jovi, Lea Michele, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sofia Vergara and Robert Deniro
Directed by: Gary Marshall
Running time: 118 minutes
Story: "New Year's Eve" celebrates love, hope, forgiveness, second chances and fresh starts, in the intertwining stories told amidst the pulse and promise of New York City on the most dazzling night of the year. (Warner Bros.)

Trailer: www.newyearsevemovie.warnerbros.com/index.html

TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY (B)

2011-12-09T07:20:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: A tediously intricate piece of cinema that you need to see more than once – either because there’s so much story you couldn’t fully follow it without a flow chart or because there was so much story you decided your time was better spent napping. It’s an intelligent, distant, complex, riveting Cold War spy caper that’s made with great detail and craft – a definite contender come Oscar nod time – but this snail-paced, decidedly British, secret agent flick never fully pulls the zipper closed on its weekend bag packed for a month long trip story. It’s the antithesis of James Bondian level silver screen antics and, unlike that action hero; this cinematic martini is neither shaken nor stirred…it’s just methodically dry.

Rated: R
Starring: Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Mark Strong and Tom Hardy
Directed by: Tomas Alfredson
Running time: 127 minutes
Story: The time is 1973. The Cold War of the mid-20th Century continues to damage international relations. Britain’s Secret Intelligence Service (SIS), a.k.a. MI6 and code-named the Circus, is striving to keep pace with other countries’ espionage efforts and to keep the U.K. secure. When things go awry, it's up to top lieutenant, George Smiley, a career spy with razor-sharp senses, to get things back on track. (Focus Features)

Trailer: http://www.tinker-tailor-soldier-spy.com/

THE ARTIST (A-)

2011-11-22T14:05:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: In black-and-white and with no sound (aside from music), THE ARTIST is a gimmick movie – but a gimmick that’s delivered with shockingly effective results. Brought to us by a French director and two French lead actors, this slimmed-down, charming, captivating and whimsical ode to old Hollywood entertains with gentle touches of humor, romance and showmanship. Yes, the music might be enough to lull some to sleep but this is a treasured look at yesteryear that’s one of the frontrunners for Oscar today!

Rated: this film has not yet been rated
Starring: Jean Dujardin, Berenice Bejo, James Cromwell, Penelope Ann Miller and John Goodman
Directed by: Michel Hazanavicius
Running time: 100 minutes
Story: Hollywood 1927. George Valentin is a silent movie superstar. The advent of the talkies will sound the death knell for his career and see him fall into oblivion. For young extra Peppy Miller, it seems the sky's the limit - major movie stardom awaits. The Artist tells the story of their interlinked destinies. (The Weinstein Company)

Trailer: http://weinsteinco.com/sites/the-artist/

HUGO (B+)

2011-11-22T14:02:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: Director Martin Scorsese, auteur of seedy, brooding, blood-soaked cinema, switches gears (tremendously) and brings us an enthralling and magical story of a boy trying to find his lot in life. It runs a little long for younger children (not sure my 6- and 4-year old boys would fully appreciate it) and what it lacks in fluid, first half pacing is fully made up for in its energetically engaging second act and Oscar-worthy visuals, art direction and costumes. HUGO may not be boss at the box office this weekend but it’s a film that both older children and adults can fully appreciate.

Rated: PG
Starring: Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen, Emily Mortimer, Jude Law, Chloe Moretz and Asa Butterfield
Directed by: Martin Scorsese (RAGING BULL, GOODFELLAS, CASINO, THE DEPARTED, CAPE FEAR, etc…)
Running time: 127 minutes
Story: Based on Brian Selznick's captivating and imaginative New York Times bestseller "The Invention of Hugo Cabret." Hugo Cabret, Scorsese's first film shot in 3D, tells the tale of an orphan boy living a secret life in the walls of a Paris train station. When Hugo encounters a broken machine, an eccentric girl, and the cold, reserved man who runs the toy shop, he is caught up in a magical, mysterious adventure that could put all of his secrets in jeopardy. (Sony Pictures)

Trailer: http://www.hugomovie.com/

THE DESCENDANTS (A)

2011-11-17T22:15:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: Like the midday Hawaiian breezes that inhabit the locales of this slice-of-life film, THE DESCENDANTS moves with a cool, calm and soothing charm. It’s a sharp, hopeful, heartfelt, compassionate, touching, heartbreaking and occasionally funny (don’t let the quirky commercials mislead you) story of one man’s attempt at letting go of the past and coming to grips with his uncertain future. Add in a career-defining directorial effort from Alexander Payne plus a depth-filled, career-high performance from George Clooney and you’ve got Oscar on the hook. Look for Academy Award nods for (at the very least) Picture, Director, Actor and Screenwriting.

Rated: R
Starring: George Clooney, Shailene Woodley, Judy Greeg, Amara Miller, Matthew Lillard and Beau Bridges
Directed by: Alexander Payne (Sideways, Election, About Schmidt)
Running time: 115 minutes
Story: From Alexander Payne, the creator of the Oscar-winning Sideways, set in Hawaii, The Descendants is a sometimes humorous, sometimes tragic journey for Matt King (George Clooney) an indifferent husband and father of two girls, who is forced to re-examine his past and embrace his future when his wife suffers a boating accident off of Waikiki. The event leads to a rapprochement with his young daughters while Matt wrestles with a decision to sell the family's land handed down from Hawaiian royalty and missionaries. -- (C) Fox Searchlight

Trailer: www.trailers.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/thedescendants/

HAPPY FEET TWO (B)

2011-11-17T22:11:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: Granted, there’s no real plot or message (other than sometimes the smallest things can create the greatest change) but most out-of-touch critics are unfairly panning this infectiously fun flick. It’s toe-tapping, upbeat, family-friendly, visually-stunning and a pleasant, snowy-white kick-off to the holiday season. Naysayers on this charming little singing and dancing penguin flick need to chill out!

Rated: PG
Starring the voices of: Elijah Wood, Pink, Hank Azaria, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon and Robin Williams
Directed by: George Miller (Happy Feet, The Witches of Eastwwick, Mad Max)
Running time: 99 minutes
Story: Happy Feet Two returns audiences to the magnificent landscape of Antarctica in superb 3D. Mumble, The Master of Tap, has a problem because his tiny son, Erik, is choreo-phobic. Reluctant to dance, Erik runs away and encounters The Mighty Sven-a penguin who can fly! Mumble has no hope of competing with this charismatic new role model. But things get worse when the world is shaken by powerful forces. Erik learns of his father's "guts and grit" as Mumble brings together the penguin nations and all manner of fabulous creatures-from tiny Krill to giant Elephant Seals-to put things right. -- (C) Warner Bros

Trailer: http://www2.warnerbros.com/happyfeet/

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN-PART 1 (D+)

2011-11-17T22:07:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: BREAKING ~~WIND~~ DAWN is finally here… (crickets). Forget Team Edward and Team Jacob and focus on the one strength this tremendously tedious and painful series has to offer: Team Must-See. These are the ones that devoured the books and feel an obligation to ride out the mediocrity that looms over this franchise. Once again, we’re subject to a bland, overly-melodramtic, woodenly-acted and poorly-scripted movie. That being said, it’s still probably the best of the overblown bunch and will more than likely deliver exactly what its loyal fan base is craving as the series winds down (thankfully). This vampire series still sucks but I applaud the loyalty of its glass-is-half-full audience.

Rated: PG-13
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner
Directed by: Bill Condon (Dreamgirls, The Others)
Running time: 117 minutes
Story: In The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1, Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson), plus those they love, must deal with the chain of consequences brought on by a marriage, honeymoon, and the tumultuous birth of a child...which brings an unforeseen and shocking development for Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner). -- (C) Summit Entertainment

Trailer: www.breakingdawn-themovie.com/

JACK AND JILL (F)

2011-11-10T09:52:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: I enjoy, to varying degrees, movies like BILLY MADISON, HAPPY GILMORE, THE WEDDING SINGER, BIG DADDY, FIFTY FIRST DATES and I’ll even admit to THE WATERBOY – but this bumbling, clunky, lazy, embarrassing, ridiculous, preposterous and unfunny colossal waste of time is easily one of the worst movies made in decades. It’s a sort of sick, twisted and not-to-elaborate Hollywood hoax where one of comedy’s biggest kings throws cinematic excrement at the screen for 93 minutes and hopes we’ll laugh. Hopefully JACK AND JILL will fall down and break Sandler’s box office crown.

Rated: PG
Starring: Adam Sandler, Katie Holmes and Al Pacino
Directed by: Dennis Dugan (HAPPY GILMORE, BIG DADDY and GROWN UPS)
Running time: 93 minutes
Story: Jack and Jill focuses on Jack Sadelstein (Adam Sandler), a successful advertising executive in Los Angeles with a beautiful wife and kids, who dreads one event each year: the Thanksgiving visit of his identical twin sister Jill (also Adam Sandler). Jill's neediness and passive-aggressiveness is maddening to Jack, turning his normally tranquil life upside down. Katie Holmes plays Erin, Jack's wife. -- (C) Sony Pictures

Trailer: www.jackandjill-movie.com

J. EDGAR (D+)

2011-11-08T12:39:00.000-08:00

Bottom Line: Not unlike the surname of the titular figure in this snail-paced biopic – J. EDGAR (Hoover) kind of sucks. It’s pure Oscar bait from the occasionally Oscar-worthy direction of Clint Eastwood. Its hopes at the top prize, however, are far out of reach as the movie plays out like a heavy-handed, disjointed, clunky, passionless and boring story of an immensely controversial man. You may find something to emotionally grasp if you’re over 50 (doubtful) and I’ll throw a plus at DiCaprio, Hammer, most of the cinematography and some of the make-up design which are all worth a nod from the Academy – but I still can’t recommend that you waste 137 minutes of your valuable time. I'm giving it the 'D' because it's a drag.

Rated: R
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Armie Hammer, Naomi Watts and Judi Dench
Directed by: Clint Eastwood
Running time: 137 minutes
Story: J. Edgar explores the public and private life of one of the most powerful, controversial and enigmatic figures of the 20th century. As the face of law enforcement in America for almost fifty years, J. Edgar Hoover was feared and admired, reviled and revered. But behind closed doors, he held secrets that would have destroyed his image, his career and his life. (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Trailer: www.jedgarmovie.warnerbros.com

TOWER HEIST (B+)

2011-11-03T11:44:00.000-07:00

Bottom Line: Surprisingly, this breezy heist-comedy moves with such a tight, nimble, polished, confident flow that it’s hard to resist its well-earned charms. Stiller is solid (not his usual overthinkingly-jittery self), Murphy is hilarious (not his usual unbearingly-obnoxious self) and the rest of the cast does their job to make sure you’re on board for a thrilling, involved and hilarious, if not far-fetched and over-the-top, caper. A true crowd pleaser, this TOWER should floor ya’!

Rated: PG-13
Starring: Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Casey Affleck, Matthew Broderick, Tea Leoni, Gabourey Sidibe and Alan Alda
Directed by: Brett Ratner (RUSH HOUR 1-3, X-MEN: TH LAST STAND and THE FAMILY MAN)
Running time: 104 minutes
Story: Queens native Josh Kovacs has managed one of the most luxurious and well-secured residences in New York City for more than a decade. Under his watchful eye, nothing goes undetected. In the swankiest unit atop Josh's building, Wall Street titan Arthur Shaw is under house arrest after being caught stealing two billion from his investors. The hardest hit among those he defrauded? The tower staffers whose pensions he was entrusted to manage. With only days before Arthur gets away with the perfect crime, Josh's crew turns to petty crook Slide to plan the nearly impossible...to steal what they are sure is hidden in Arthur's guarded condo. Though amateurs, these rookie thieves know the building better than anyone. Turns out they've been casing the place for years, they just didn't know it. (Universal Pictures)

Trailer: http://www.towerheist.net/

PUSS IN BOOTS (B)

2011-10-28T06:16:00.002-07:00

Bottom Line: Devoid of the annoying pop culture references that hamstrung this story’s cinematic source material (SHREK, SHREK 2 and SHREK THE TURD THIRD) this is a fun, furry, swashbuckling adventure that, although not groundbreaking – and dragging from time-to-time, should entertain children and parents alike. Landing confidently on its feet, PUSS IN BOOTS is a family-friendly fairly thrilling yarn.

Rated: PG
Starring the voices of: Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek and Zach Galifianakis
Running time: 90 minutes
Story: Puss In Boots - one of the most beloved characters of the "Shrek" universe - tells the hilarious and courageous (daring, bold, brave) tale of Puss's early adventures as he teams with mastermind Humpty Dumpty and the street-savvy Kitty to steal the famed goose that lays the Golden Eggs. (Dreamworks)

Trailer: www.pussinbootsthemovie.com

ANONYMOUS (A-)

2011-10-28T06:16:00.001-07:00

Bottom Line: I think we all kind of expected to see an exceptional Elizabethan political thriller from the director of INDEPENDENCE DAY and GODZILLA. Right? Was it just me?! Talk about trying to reinvent yourself… Luscious set design, a haunting score, marvelous performances and a seedy underbelly of lies, betrayal and deceit make this a taut, political potboiler worth every penny. To ‘A’ or not to ‘A’ – there really is no question. I loved this tale of The Bard that won’t leave you bored.

Rated: PG-13
Starring: Rhys Ifans, Vanessa Redgrave, Joely Richardson, Sebastian Armesto, David Thewlis and Rafe Spall
Directed by: Roland Emmerich (INDEPENDENCE DAY, GODZILLA, THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW)
Running time: 130 minutes
Story: Set in the political snake-pit of Elizabethan England, Anonymous speculates on an issue that has for centuries intrigued academics and brilliant minds ranging from Mark Twain and Charles Dickens to Henry James and Sigmund Freud, namely: who was the author of the plays credited to William Shakespeare? Experts have debated, books have been written, and scholars have devoted their lives to protecting or debunking theories surrounding the authorship of the most renowned works in English literature. Anonymous poses one possible answer, focusing on a time when cloak-and-dagger political intrigue, illicit romances in the Royal Court, and the schemes of greedy nobles hungry for the power of the throne were exposed in the most unlikely of places: the London stage. (Sony Pictures)

Trailer: www.anonymous-movie.com

IN TIME (D+)

2011-10-28T06:16:00.000-07:00

Bottom Line: Justin Timberlake’s new movie feels out of sync. It’s a mostly dull and forgettable futuristic one-trick pony. The pony, admittedly, is interesting (time is literally money; you never age a day past 25) and the 2nd half picks up a bit when it becomes a sci-fi BONNIE AND CLYDE knock-off – but the unexplained hook, the shoddy production values and overall drabness of IN TIME left me a little ticked.

Rated: PG-13
Starring: Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried and Cillian Murphy
Directed by: Andrew Niccol (GATTACA)
Running time: 109 minutes
Story: In the not-too-distant future the aging gene has been switched off. To avoid overpopulation, time has become the currency and the way people pay for luxuries and necessities. The rich can live forever, while the rest try to negotiate for their immortality. (Strike Entertainment)

Trailer: www.intimemovie.com

THE RUM DIARY (C-)

2011-10-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

Bottom Line: Johhny Depp gives it his all in this love letter to the work of the late author, Hunter S. Thompson. Unfortunately, Depp’s all just ain’t enough as THE RUM DIARY is a two-hour, liquor-infused exercise in trying really hard to give a damn. It’s a well made, colorful and occasionally spirited film but the praise ends there as the rest is unfocused, meandering and serves very little purpose. Once I slipped out of the theater, the movie slipped my mind. I feel pretty dirty just saying/typing it but this movie made me long for a fifth round of PIRATES.

Rated: R
Starring: Johnny Depp, Aaron Eckhart, Amber Heard and Giovanni Ribisi
Running time: 119 minutes
Story: Based on the Hunter S. Thompson novel, this movie tells the story of Paul Kemp, a freelance journalist who finds himself at a critical turning point in his life while writing for a run-down newspaper in the Caribbean. Paul is challenged on many levels as he tries to carve out a more secure niche for himself amidst a group of lost souls all bent on self-destruction. (GK Films)

Trailer: http://www.rumdiarythemovie.com/

MARGIN CALL (B+)

2011-10-20T22:46:00.000-07:00

Bottom Line: Although it might have made for a better stage play, this based-on-a-real-life-fiasco flick is an intelligent, enthralling, unplayful, tense, volatile, slow-burn drama that thrills through the use of solid actors delivering strong dialogue in a stressful situation. Simply put, it’s fascinating to see how exactly a ‘sh*t storm’ is manufactured. One quick Google search of ‘Lehman Brothers’ might prove helpful for some – you know, so you actually have an idea of what the heck is going on… Forget about the rallies and Occupy MARGIN CALL theaters this weekend.

Rated: R
Starring: Kevin Spacey, Jeremy Irons, Paul Bettany, Demi Moore, Zachary Quinto and Stanley Tucci
Running time: 105 minutes
Story: This tense Wall Street thriller follows the staff of a high-powered brokerage firm in the 24 hours before the stock market crash of 2008. Featuring an all-star cast, Margin Call was one of the most talked about films of the Sundance Film Festival and was also the Opening Night selection of New Directors/New Films. (Roadside Attractions)

Trailer: http://www.margincallmovie.com/

FOOTLOOSE (B)

2011-10-14T06:16:00.000-07:00

Bottom Line: Ahhh, Hollywood’s never-ending quest to squeeze more green water from the box office sponge. Yes, the fight-for-your-right-to-dance plot is still corny – but it’s time, 27 years later, to cut loose again! Whether you’re a fan of the 1984 original or just looking for a fun, toe-tapping time at the theaters – then buy a ticket to this slightly hammy, always harmless and fairly family-friendly updated remake…it’s definitely worth your Bacon!

Rated: PG-13
Starring: Kenny Wormald, Julianne Hough and Dennis Quaid
Directed by: Craig Brewer (Hustle & Flow)
Running time: 113 minutes
Story: Ren MacCormack is transplanted from Boston to the small southern town of Bomont where he experiences a heavy dose of culture shock. A few years prior, the community was rocked by a tragic accident that killed five teenagers after a night out and Bomont’s local councilmen and the beloved Reverend Shaw Moore responded by implementing ordinances that prohibit loud music and dancing. Not one to bow to the status quo, Ren challenges the ban, revitalizing the town and falling in love with the minister’s troubled daughter Ariel in the process. (Paramount Pictures)
Trailer: http://www.footloosemovie.com/

THE BIG YEAR (C+)

2011-10-14T06:14:00.000-07:00

Bottom Line: Martin, Wilson and Black partly succeed in bringing life to this ornithological mish-mash of laughs and yawns. It’s bland and formulaic but somehow still manages to have its charms. THE BIG YEAR never soars like an eagle and isn’t entirely for the birds – but it’s a minor success that should bring grins to many of the 45+ audience who’ll actually line up to see it.

Rated: PG-13
Starring: Steve Martin, Owen Wilson and Jack Black
Directed by: David Frankel (The Devil Wears Prada, Marley & Me)
Running time: 100 minutes
Story: Based on Mark Obmascik's 1998 book "The Big Year: A Tale of Man, Nature and Fowl Obsession," the film is about three men who try to outdo each other in a bird-watching competition to spot the rarest birds in North America. The rivalry is an allegory for the challenges each faces in his own life. (20th Century Fox)
Trailer: http://www.thebigyearmovie.com/

THE IDES OF MARCH (B)

2011-10-06T09:11:00.000-07:00

Bottom Line: Giving us an intriguing peek behind the curtain of presidential politicking, this thrillingly taut political potboiler would have benefitted from a bigger hook (something to push it in to the category of great). It’s dirty, tough, informative, gripping, well-acted, expertly-crafted and moves with a confident flow – but this is an ideologically poignant onion that could have used a few more cynical layers.
Rated: R
Starring: Ryan Gosling, George Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Marisa Tomei, Jeffrey Wright and Evan Rachel Wood
Running Time: 101 minutes
Story: The Ides of March takes place during the frantic last days before a heavily contested Ohio presidential primary, when an up-and-coming campaign press secretary finds himself involved in a political scandal that threatens to upend his candidate's shot at the presidency. (Sony Pictures)
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McCt-_yYLpo

REAL STEEL (B)

2011-10-06T09:06:00.000-07:00

Bottom Line: ROCK ‘EM SOCK ‘EM ROBOTS: THE MOVIE. The TRANSFORMERS meets ROCKY. Call it whatever you want, this futuristically subdued, father/son bonding flick, although eye-rolllingly cheesy at times, delivers enough requisite thrills and exhilarating moments to entertain the masses. Part head pounding action, part heartfelt drama - REAL STEEL, for the most part, is the real deal. …or should I have said REAL STEEL is a knock out?! Or, Get in the ring with REAL STEEL?! Either way, it makes the perfect date for fathers and sons!
Rated: PG-13
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Evangeline Lilly and Dakota Goyo
Running Time: 127 minutes
Story: A gritty, white-knuckle, action ride set in the near-future, where the sport of boxing has gone hi-tech. Charlie Kenton is a washed-up fighter who lost his chance at a title when 2000-pound, 8-foot-tall steel robots took over the ring. Now nothing but a small-time promoter, Charlie earns just enough money piecing together low-end bots from scrap metal to get from one underground boxing venue to the next. When Charlie hits rock bottom, he reluctantly teams up with his estranged son Max to build and train a championship contender. As the stakes in the brutal, no-holds-barred arena are raised, Charlie and Max, against all odds, get one last shot at a comeback. (Touchstone Pictures)

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S8a180uYBM

COMING SOON - EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE

2011-09-29T08:20:00.000-07:00

Oskar (Thomas Horn) is convinced that his father (Tom Hanks), who died in the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center, has left a final message for him hidden somewhere in the city. Feeling disconnected from his grieving mother (Sandra Bullock) and driven by a relentlessly active mind that refuses to believe in things that can't be observed, Oskar begins searching New York City for the lock that fits a mysterious key he found in his father's closet. His journey through the five boroughs takes him beyond his own loss to a greater understanding of the observable world around him. - - (C) Warner Bros

Watch the trailer here: www.extremelyloudandincrediblyclose.warnerbros.com/

EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE opens December 25, 2011.

COMING SOON - WAR HORSE

2011-09-27T09:13:00.000-07:00

From director Steven Spielberg comes "War Horse," an epic adventure for audiences of all ages. Set against a sweeping canvas of rural England and Europe during the First World War, "War Horse" begins with the remarkable friendship between a horse named Joey and a young man called Albert, who tames and trains him. When they are forcefully parted, the film follows the extraordinary journey of the horse as he moves through the war, changing and inspiring the lives of all those he meets-British cavalry, German soldiers, and a French farmer and his granddaughter-before the story reaches its emotional climax in the heart of No Man's Land. The First World War is experienced through the journey of this horse-an odyssey of joy and sorrow, passionate friendship and high adventure. "War Horse" is one of the great stories of friendship and war-a successful book, it was turned into a hugely successful international theatrical hit that is arriving on Broadway next year. It now comes to screen in an epic adaptation by one of the great directors in film history.--(C) Dreamworks

Watch the trailer here: www.warhorsemovie.com

WAR HORSE opens December 28, 2011

MONEYBALL (A+)

2011-09-23T06:52:00.000-07:00

Starring: Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill and Philip Seymour Hoffman

Rated: PG-13
Story: Based on Michael Lewis' nonfiction bestseller "Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game," the book's subject is Oakland A's general manager Billy Beane, who assembled a contending baseball club on a shoestring budget by employing a sophisticated computer-based analysis to draft players. (Sony Pictures)

Bottom Line: MONEYBALL is the SOCIAL NETWORK of sports movies! It’s effective, efficient, entertaining and Brad Pitt shines in one of his most accessible roles to date (his Jerry Maguire moment). It’s an involving, intelligent, character-driven, savvy and beautifully shot future multi-Oscar nominated film that doesn’t require your liking of baseball – just your appreciation of really good movies. You probably saw this coming from a mile away but…MONEYBALL is a homerun!

KILLER ELITE (D+)

2011-09-23T06:30:00.000-07:00

Starring: Jason Statham, Clive Owen and Robert DeNiro

Rated: R
Story: Based on a shocking true story, Killer Elite pits two of the world’s most elite operatives—Danny, an ex-special ops agent and Hunter, his longtime mentor—against the cunning leader of a secret military society. Covering the globe from Australia to Paris, London and the Middle East, Danny and Hunter are plunged into a highly dangerous game of cat and mouse—where the predators become the prey. (Open Road Films)

Bottom Line: Not unlike putting a puzzle together without all the pieces, building a shed without blueprints or deciding whether or not to see a movie without visiting BriantheMovieGuy.com, KILLER ELITE struggles with a sporadic, disjointed and fatigued garble of cinematic misdirection. Unfortunately, a great cast, intriguing plot and occasional action-packed antics are all for not and kept this movie from being the rousing, adrenaline-fueled game of cat-and-mouse the trailer teased it would be…

DRIVE (A-)

2011-09-16T06:19:00.000-07:00

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Bryan Cranston and Albert Brooks

Rated: R
Story: Drive is the story of a Hollywood stunt driver by day, a loner by nature, who moonlights as a top-notch getaway driver-for-hire in the criminal underworld. He finds himself a target for some of LA's most dangerous men after agreeing to aid the husband of his beautiful neighbor, Irene. When the job goes dangerously awry, the only way he can keep Irene and her son alive is to do what he does best—Drive! (FilmDistrict)

Bottom Line: An absorbing, vicious, art house, action flick with a bipolar vibe that, admittedly, isn’t for everyone. DRIVE is an effectively subdued mood-piece with a methodically violent and unnerving slickness at its core. It’s a superbly crafted piece of pulp cinema that’s cool, calm and collected until – WHAM! – it surprisingly isn’t. Although a little too distant at times, the inspired mish-mash of genre styles makes it hard to resist – so in the end you’ll either buckle in for the joyride or kick this flick to the curb.

I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT (D+)

2011-09-16T06:18:00.000-07:00

Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Greg Kinnear, Olivia Munn, Christina Hendricks and Pierce Brosnan

Rated: PG-13
Story: Based on the critically acclaimed bestseller by Allison Pearson, I Don't Know How She Does It follows a Boston-based working mother trying desperately to juggle marriage, children, and a high-stress job. (The Weinstein Company)

Bottom Line: SJP (Sarah Jessica Parker for anyone not in the know; c’mon people) will, unfortunately, never fully break free from her HBO comedy/Carrie Bradshaw persona – and, sadly, that indisputable fact makes these proceedings of a working-mom-on-the-verge comedy feel more like NO SEX AND THE KIDDIES. The juggling act stress of a frazzled woman trying to keep it all together is handled, for the most part, comedically well but the message they’re sending is that any woman can have it all…assuming she has the right nanny. A few laughs, a ton of clichés and a message as subtle as a shovel to the face make this chick-flick full of stressful truths...ultimately ring false.

WARRIOR (A)

2011-09-09T07:54:00.000-07:00

Starring: Tom Hardy, Joel Edgerton and Nick Nolte

Rated: PG-13
Story: An ex-Marine haunted by a tragic past, Tommy Riordan returns to his hometown of Pittsburgh and enlists his father, a recovered alcoholic and his former coach, to train him for an MMA tournament awarding the biggest purse in the history of the sport. As Tommy blazes a violent path towards the title prize, his brother, Brendan, a former MMA fighter unable to make ends meet as a public school teacher, returns to the amateur ring to provide for his family. Even though years have passed, recriminations and past betrayals keep Brendan bitterly estranged from both Tommy and his father. But when Brendan's unlikely rise as an underdog sets him on a collision course with Tommy, the two brothers must finally confront the forces that tore them apart, all the while waging the most intense, winner-takes-all battle of their lives. (Lionsgate)

Bottom Line: There are still four months left in the year and I can safely say that WARRIOR will land somewhere, safely, in my top ten list. I’m reckless like that in making predictions… And even though it boils down to a formulaic sports drama – those formulaic pieces are all in place and the movie delivers. WARRIOR is a hard-hitting, dysfunctional family, art-house, cage-fighting sports drama with three lead actors delivering gritty, brutal, sympathetic, well-developed and Oscar nomination-worthy performances. Its last year’s THE FIGHTER meets 1979’s ROCKY – but this time out we get two Rocky Balboa’s to root for… Enter the ring with WARRIOR and you will get knocked out!

CONTAGION (B)

2011-09-09T07:51:00.000-07:00

Starring: Matt Damon, Gwenyth Paltrow, Laurence Fishburne, Kate Winslet, Jude Law and Marion Cotillard

Rated: PG-13
Story: Contagion follows the rapid progress of a lethal airborne virus that kills within days. As the fast-moving epidemic grows, the worldwide medical community races to find a cure and control the panic that spreads faster than the virus itself. At the same time, ordinary people struggle to survive in a society coming apart. (Warner Bros.)

Bottom Line: This Purell Hand Sanitizer stock price multiplier shows us how media, suburbia, big cities, countries, corporations, military, government - how everyone deals with the fear/reality of an airborne virus. Were each group developed a bit more the movie might have fully engrossed – but as it is this heebie-jeebie-fest still remains an intricate, smart, thought-provoking, well-acted, fear-inducing, germaphobe-creating and don’t-cough-in-the-theater-unless-you-want-uptight-glances-from-those-newly-formed-germaphobes bio-thriller. It’s fun…but in a I’m-glad-it’s-not-happening-to-me way.

COLOMBIANA (C-)

2011-08-26T07:21:00.000-07:00

Starring: Zoe Saldana

Rated: PG-13
Story: Cataleya is a young woman who has grown up to be an assassin after witnessing the murder of her parents as a child. Turning herself into a professional killer and working for her uncle, she remains focused on her ultimate goal: to hunt down and get revenge on the mobster responsible for her parents' deaths. (Sony Pictures)

Bottom Line: Like riding shotgun while your Gram-gram drives, this woman-on-the-verge-of-vengeance story starts, stops, starts, stops, starts and so on… Although the drama is a predictable, fairly cheesy, generic, get-to-the-good-stuff-already bore, the been-there-done-that action succeeds because of the relatively believable (and not ugly) female kicking the butt. COLOMBIANA is the female action equivalent of the Matt Damon and Daniel Craig turns as assassins/spies – which I guess would make her Justine Bourne or Jane Bond. There is a sexy, frenzied grittiness to this gams-and-gunplay flick that works – but it’s hard to fully enjoy it when everything else is working against it.

SUMMER 2011 RECAP

2011-08-21T23:59:00.000-07:00

Let's call it, shall we - the summer movie-going season is over. The biggies, for the time being, have folded up their tents and moved on... So, in lieu of their departure, here's a brief recap of how I felt about 'em all (most of 'em anyway). As always, full reviews can be found by using the handy search box to the left. Give them a read and let me know what you think - I always (sometimes) welcome your feedback!

RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES A

In a nutshell: A riveting, compelling and thrilling piece of campy, B-level, drive-in theater, popcorn cinema.
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART II
A
In a nutshell: Gripping, action-packed, intense and epic. You won’t have to be a Pott-head to enjoy.
SUPER 8
A-
In a nutshell: A Spielberg-esque, slice-of-life meets sci-fi summer crowd pleaser.
X-MEN: FIRST CLASS
A-
In a nutshell: Intelligent, witty and engaging. ‘X’ indeed marks the spot.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER
B+
In a nutshell: Thrilling, infectious fun. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK-lite meets SAVING PRIVATE RYAN-lite.
HORRIBLE BOSSES
B+
In a nutshell: Crude, crass and goofily sophomoric fun.
BRIDESMAIDS
B+
In a nutshell: Sweet, smart, edgy and gross. MY BEST FRIEND’S WEDDING meets THE HANGOVER.
CARS 2
B
In a nutshell: A fun, frantic and fast-paced joy ride for all ages.
FRIGHT NIGHT
B
In a nutshell: Smart, sharp and self-aware. Equal parts frightening and funny.
THOR
B
In a nutshell: Amiable, accessible, mythically-mainstream and action packed. Thor doesn’t thuck.
WINNIE THE POOH
B
In a nutshell: Delightfully and refreshingly innocent.
THE CHANGE-UP
B
In a nutshell: Critics hated this juvenile, body-switching cussfest - but I'm one of the few that doesn't take themselves too seriously, so...
LARRY CROWNE
B
In a nutshell: A pleasant, well-intentioned, lightweight and sweet romantic comedy.
MR. POPPERS PENGUINS
B-
In a nutshell: A movie the whole family can probably enjoy – aside from a few too many penguin poop jokes.
FAST FIVE
B-
In a nutshell: Big, bold, brainless and kinda fun.
KUNG FU PANDA 2
B-
In a nutshell: Heavy on action, light on heart.
COWBOYS AND ALIENS
C+
In a nutshell: A sci-fi spaghetti western that explodes out of the starting gate and, unfortunately, trots to the finish line.
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES
C+
In a nutshell: An adventure about the fountain of youth in a series that’s lost its youthful charm. Yo ho ho and a bottle of ho hum.
THE HANGOVER: PART II
C-
In a nutshell: A colder, cruder, crueler and not nearly as funny carbon copy of the original.
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON
D
In a nutshell: A spectacular pile-up of uncreativity that lacks in depth, dialogue and fun. It’s actually less than meets the eye.
GREEN LANTERN
D
In a nutshell: The most cookie-cutter, incohesive, silly and boring superhero flick of the season.
SOMETHING BORROWED
D
In a nutshell: Formulaic, melodramatic and predictable.
CONAN THE BARBARIAN
D-
In a nutshell: Unoriginal, unremarkable, cheesy, dull, ham-fisted, emotionless, nonsensical and misdirected.

CONAN THE BARBARIAN (D-)

2011-08-19T07:12:00.000-07:00

Starring: Jason Momoa, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan, Stephen Lang and Rachel Nichols

Rated: R
Story: The sword-wielding Conan the Barbarian out for revenge against the evil Khalar Singh, who enslaved and slaughtered the people of his village. Since birth, Conan's life has been marked by violence. And after watching his fellow tribesmen and his father brutally and cruelly killed, Conan vows to avenge his people's slaughter, even if it means sacrificing his own life in the process. (Lionsgate)

Bottom Line: Sometimes lowered expectations can be a good thing – and sometimes, as in the case of this unoriginal and unremarkable remake, things can and do get worse. Unfortunately CONAN is a horribly scripted, unpurposely campy, woefully nonsensical, cartoonishly action-packed, lamentably dull, overly blood-soaked, hackfully misdirected and painfully emotionless, cinematic 3D bore. It’s not even so bad it’s good. The two things, however, that keep this movie from ‘F’ territory are 1) Chris Momoa – who would have made a solid Conan in a darker, more edgier film and 2) the gratuitous female nudity (which my Movie Guy handbook dictates should always warrant extra points for any film; I’m a guy, whaddaya want from me?!). That being said, you’d still be better off buying a ticket, sneaking in to a theater not even showing a movie and staring at a blank movie screen for two hours.

FRIGHT NIGHT (B)

2011-08-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

Starring: Colin Farrell, Anton Yelchin, Toni Collette and Christopher Mintz-Plasse

Directed by: Craig Gillespie (LARS AND THE REAL GIRL)
Rated: R
Story: Senior Charlie Brewster finally has it all going on: he's running with the popular crowd and dating the most coveted girl in his high school. In fact, he's so cool he’s even dissing his best friend. But trouble arrives when Jerry moves in next door. He seems like a great guy at first, but there’s something not quite right—but everyone, including Charlie's mom, doesn't notice. After observing some very strange activity, Charlie comes to an unmistakable conclusion: Jerry is a vampire preying on the neighborhood. Unable to convince anyone, Charlie has to find a way to get rid of the monster himself in this Craig Gillespie-helmed revamp of the comedy-horror classic. (DreamWorks Pictures)

Bottom Line: We just don’t get enough vampire flicks these days – well, we don’t get enough good ones (yeah, I’m looking at you TWILLIGHT series). And as good as FRIGHT NIGHT was back in 1985, it’s been made even better 26 years later as Colin Farrell (in addition to the rest of the great cast) makes this movie of the undead come to life. It’s a smart, sharp and self-aware horror flick that’s equal parts frightening and funny. If you’re looking for ample scares, solid thrills and a downright entertaining time while watching a little blood spill – then this vampire flick has quite a bit of bite.

RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES (A)

2011-08-04T09:22:00.000-07:00

Starring: James Franco, John Lithgow, Freida Pinto and Andy Serkis

Directed by: Rupert Wyatt (THE ESCAPIST)
Rated: PG-13
Story: Rise of the Apes is an origin story in the truest sense of the term. Set in present day San Francisco, the film is a reality-based cautionary tale, a science fiction/science fact blend, where man's own experiments with genetic engineering lead to the development of intelligence in apes and the onset of a war for supremacy. (20th Century Fox)

Bottom Line: Hollywood saves one it’s best for last this summer movie-going season and delivers a riveting, compelling and thrilling piece of campy, B-level, drive-in theater, popcorn cinema. Through the use of mind-bending special effects and simple yet effective scriptwriting APES evolves in to an adventurous, action-packed and emotionally-taught edge-of-your-seat story of compassion turned ignorance. The filmmakers rose to the occasion of RISE and I’m now looking forward to a few more sequels to see where this exciting prequel/reboot goes… At the risk of losing a few followers, I’m just gonna go ahead and say it - I’m bananas for this monkey movie!

THE CHANGE-UP (B+)

2011-08-04T09:20:00.000-07:00

Starring: Jason Bateman, Ryan Reynolds, Olivia Wilde and Lesley Mann

Directed by: David Dobkin (WEDDING CRASHERS)
Rated: R
Story: Growing up together, Mitch and Dave were inseparable best friends, but as the years have passed they've slowly drifted apart. While Dave is an overworked lawyer, husband and father of three, Mitch has remained a single, quasi-employed man-child who has never met a responsibility he liked. To Mitch, Dave has it all: beautiful wife Jamie, kids who adore him and a high-paying job at a prestigious law firm. To Dave, living Mitch's stress free life without obligation or consequence would be a dream come true. Following a drunken night out together, Mitch and Dave's worlds are turned upside down when they wake up in each other's bodies and proceed to freak the &*#@ out. (Universal Pictures)

Bottom Line: If you’ve over-indulged on the slew of R-rated gross-out comedies this summer (BRIDESMAIDS, THE HANGOVER: PART II, BAD TEACHER, HORRIBLE BOSSES) and enjoyed at least half of ‘em – then the unoriginally premised yet boldly scripted body-swapping comedy THE CHANGE-UP might just be for you. Stomach the onslaught of gutter-level language and grotesquely cringe-worthy pay-offs and you’re in for a delightfully hilarious and insanely rude ride. Bateman and Reynolds have a blast playing against type so see this raunch-infused swip-swap comedy tonight and your Friday will indeed be freaky!

COWBOYS AND ALIENS (C+)

2011-07-29T06:10:00.000-07:00

Starring: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell and Olivia Wilde

Directed by: Jon Favreau (IRON MAN, IRON MAN 2, ELF and ZATHURA)
Rated: PG-13
Story: 1873. Arizona Territory. A stranger with no memory of his past stumbles into the hard desert town of Absolution. The only hint to his history is a mysterious shackle that encircles one wrist. What he discovers is that the people of Absolution don't welcome strangers, and nobody makes a move on its streets unless ordered to do so by the iron-fisted Colonel Dolarhyde. It's a town that lives in fear. But Absolution is about to experience fear it can scarcely comprehend as the desolate city is attacked by marauders from the sky. Screaming down with breathtaking velocity and blinding lights to abduct the helpless one by one, these monsters challenge everything the residents have ever known. Now, the stranger they rejected is their only hope for salvation. As this gunslinger slowly starts to remember who he is and where he's been, he realizes he holds a secret that could give the town a fighting chance against the alien force. With the help of the elusive traveler Ella, he pulls together a posse comprised of former opponents—townsfolk, Dolarhyde and his boys, outlaws and Apache warriors—all in danger of annihilation. United against a common enemy, they will prepare for an epic showdown for survival. (Universal Pictures)

Bottom Line: A creatively conceptualized, semi-intriguing, sci-fi spaghetti western that excitingly explodes out of the starting gate, stumbles mid race and unremarkably trots toward the finish line. Although I would have preferred a straight-up western with these two, it is cool to see James Bond and Indiana Jones share the big screen – but why, when there’s cinematic gold in them thar hills, did the filmmakers settle on mining for silver?!. Best to rope this admittedly action-packed yet late-in-the-game-lazy shoot ‘em up around high noon…when you can buy a matinee-priced ticket.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER (B+)

2011-07-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

Starring: Chris Evans, Tommy Lee Jones, Stanley Tucci, Hugo Weaving and Hayley Atwell

Directed by: Joe Johnston (THE ROCKETEER, JUMANJI, THE WOLFMAN and HIDALGO)
Rated: PG-13
Story: Captain America: The First Avenger will focus on the early days of the Marvel Universe when Steve Rogers volunteers to participate in an experimental program that turns him into the Super Soldier known as Captain America. (Paramount Pictures)

Bottom Line: Shield yourself from any nay-saying critics because CAPTAIN AMERICA (the final piece to next year’s IRON MAN/HULK/THOR superhero puzzle called THE AVENGERS), is a spirited, beautifully designed, stylistically retro, good ol’ fashioned, patriotic march of go-team-go filmmaking. It’s got a RAIDERS OF THE ARK-LITE meets SAVING PRIVATE RYAN-LITE vibe and, save a few slight missteps (underdeveloped romance; a few rushed action sequences), it delivers the requisite thrills, the anticipated explosions and, thankfully, a really interesting story of how a 97-pound weakling came to be America’s hope during the battles of World War II and beyond. CAPTAIN AMERICA is a simple, popcorn-munching, crowd-pleasing, summer blockbuster – the acting is solid, the script is tight and the fun is infectious. If I may be so bold as to finish a popular thought that Uncle Sam started, ‘I want you…to see this movie!’

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART II (A)

2011-07-15T06:58:00.000-07:00

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Michael Gambon, Alan Rickman, and Ralph Fiennes

Directed by: David Yates (HP: ORDER OF THE PHOENIX, HP: HALF-BLOOD PRINCE and HP: DEATHLY HALLOWS-PART I)
Rated: PG-13
Story: In Part 2 of the epic finale, the battle between the good and evil forces of the Wizarding world escalates into an all-out war. The stakes have never been higher and no one is safe. But it is Harry Potter who may be called upon to make the ultimate sacrifice as he draws closer to the climactic showdown with Lord Voldemort. It all ends here. (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Bottom Line: I am not a Pott-Head. Never read the books, never been rabid about seeing the films. They’re well crafted movies, structurally sound – I’ve just never been invested in the geeky drama of the Hogwarts Gang. This has all changed thanks to the near perfection that exists onscreen during the 130-minute HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART II. HP7:P2 (sounds like the name of a Van Halen album…during the Sammy Hagar years) is an exciting, exhilarating and spellbinding final installment that actually made me care…for the first time since the series started back in 2001. I’m actually excited now to go back and watch the other seven movies (sans my children after the first two installments, of course, as the series takes a turn towards the dark side)... The drama is gripping, the action is intense, the scope is epic and, should you be a fan of blockbuster films in general, the movie delivers on every single cinematic level imaginable (aside from, maybe, a solid tug of the heartstrings). Simply put, HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART II is magical!

WINNIE THE POOH (B/A/A)

2011-07-15T06:56:00.000-07:00

Starring the voices of: Craig Ferguson, Jim Cummings and John Cleese

Rated: G
Story: Walt Disney Animation Studios returns to the Hundred Acre Wood with Winnie the Pooh, the first big-screen Pooh adventure from Disney animation in more than 35 years. With the charm, wit and whimsy of the original featurettes, this all-new movie reunites audiences with the philosophical "bear of very little brain" and friends Tigger, Rabbit, Piglet, Kanga, Roo—and last, but certainly not least, Eeyore, who has lost his tail. "Well a tail is either there or it isn't there," said Pooh. "And yours isn't... there." Owl sends the whole gang on a wild quest to save Christopher Robin from an imaginary culprit. It turns out to be a very busy day for a bear who simply set out to find some hunny. Inspired by five stories from A.A. Milne's books in Disney's classic, hand-drawn art styl. (Walt Disney Pictures)

Bottom Line: At 70 minutes, WINNIE THE POOH is long enough to not check your watch but short enough to make you wonder why you just paid full price for all your tickets. It is, however, a delightfully sweet and innocent throwback to the animation days of old – something parents can appreciate and youngsters can enjoy. My boys both loved it…but not quite as much as the intensely action-packed CARS 2.

HORRIBLE BOSSES (B+)

2011-07-08T07:37:00.000-07:00

Starring: Jason Bateman, Jason Sudekis, Charlie Day, Kevin Spacey, Colin Ferell, Jennifer Aniston and Jamie Foxx

Directed by: Seth Gordon (KING OF KONG and FOUR CHRISTMASES)
Rated: R
Story: For Nick, Kurt and Dale, the only thing that would make the daily grind more tolerable would be to grind their intolerable bosses into dust. Quitting is not an option, so, with the benefit of a few-too-many drinks and some dubious advice from a hustling ex-con, the three friends devise a convoluted and seemingly foolproof plan to rid themselves of their respective employers...permanently. There's only one problem: even the best laid plans are only as foolproof as the brains behind them. (Warner Bros)

Bottom Line: Don’t let other critics paragraph you to death with details - Hollywood kept it simple this time and in doing so brings us a hilariously ridiculous, rude and raunchy movie with a stellar, comedic cast and a breezy, whip-smart script that clocks in at 97 minutes and, therefore, never overstays its welcome (like the two-hour BRIDESMAIDS – although I still loved that movie). HORRIBLE BOSSES is crude, crass and goofily sophomoric but it keeps you engaged and repeatedly delivers the comedic goods. I enjoyed it, it was fun, now all I want to do is move on and not see a tired, retread, cash-grab sequel (HB2: HORRIBLER BOSSES?) in a couple of years – yes, I’m disapprovingly lookin’ at you HANGOVER 2.

LARRY CROWNE (B)

2011-06-30T09:53:00.000-07:00

Starring: Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts

Directed by: Tom Hanks (THAT THING YOU DO)
Rated: PG-13
Story: Until he was downsized, affable, amiable Larry Crowne was a superstar team leader at the big-box company where he's worked since his time in the Navy. Underwater on his mortgage and unclear on what to do with his suddenly free days, Larry heads to his local college to start over. There he becomes part of a colorful community of outcasts, also-rans and the overlooked all trying to find a better future for themselves...often moving around town in a herd of scooters. In his public-speaking class, Larry develops an unexpected crush on his teacher Mercedes Tainot, who has lost as much passion for teaching as she has for her husband. The simple guy who has every reason to think his life has stalled will come to learn an unexpected lesson: when you think everything worth having has passed you by, you just might discover your reason to live. (Universal Pictures)

Bottom Line: You’ll probably really enjoy LARRY CROWNE – assuming you fall in the 45+ demo and aren’t a contemptuous, self-serving critic (most of whom are panning this film). It’s a pleasant, well-intentioned, lightweight, slice-of-life movie with no major message, no major story – just two major actors downplaying their stardom and making us smile for 90 minutes. If TRANSFORMERS 3 is the headache then LARRY CROWNE is surely this weekend’s Advil.

TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON (D)

2011-06-28T11:21:00.000-07:00

Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, John Malkovich, John Turturro, Patrick Dempsey and Frances McDormand

Directed by: Michael Bay (TRANSFORMERS 1, 2, BAD BOYS 1, 2 and PEARL HARBOR)
Rated: PG-13
Story: Transformers: Dark of the Moon features Sam Witwicky taking his first tenuous steps into adulthood while remaining a reluctant human ally of Optimus Prime. The film centers around the space race between the U.S.S.R. and the USA, suggesting there was a hidden Transformers role in it all that remains one of the planet's most dangerous secrets. The villain of the third film will be Shockwave. (DreamWorks Pictures)

Bottom Line: TRANSFORMERS 3 is a spectacular pile-up of uncreativity that lacks in depth, dialogue and character and for 2 ½ hours numbs the mind, aches the head and brutally assaults all five senses (yes, somehow, even touch, taste and smell). It’s a big-budget, cash-grab retread that, aside from being louder and in 3D, hardly sets itself apart from its predecessor. Yes, there are plenty of massive yet redundant action-packed robot battles but why buy a ticket when you can simply drive a car thru a paint store, with a metal trashcan full of lit fireworks in the passenger seat, and experience the same thing... TRANSFORMERS 3: Less than meets the eye.

CARS 2 (B)

2011-06-23T17:06:00.000-07:00

Starring the voices of: Owen Wilson, Larry the Cable Guy, John Turturro, Emily Mortimer and Michael Caine

Directed by: John Lasseter and Brad Lewis (CARS, TOY STORY1 & 2 and A BUG’S LIFE)
Rated: G
Story: Star racecar Lightning McQueen and the incomparable tow truck Mater take their friendship to exciting new places in "Cars 2" when they head overseas to compete in the first-ever World Grand Prix to determine the world's fastest car. But the road to the championship is filled with plenty of potholes, detours and hilarious surprises when Mater gets caught up in an intriguing adventure of his own: international espionage. Torn between assisting Lightning McQueen in the high-profile race and towing the line in a top-secret spy mission, Mater’s action-packed journey leads him on an explosive chase through the streets of Japan and Europe, trailed by his friends and watched by the whole world. Adding to the fast-paced fun is a colorful new all-car cast that includes secret agents, menacing villains and international racing competitors. (Disney, Pixar)

Bottom Line: Forgoing message for spectacle, CARS 2 puts the pedal to the metal and delivers a high-octane action flick that, while fun to look at, lacks the creative spark and inspiration that made movies like UP, RATATOUILLE, WALL-E and even TOY STORY 3 shine. While not Pixar’s greatest effort it still remains an expertly crafted, beautifully designed and nimbly written ode to the world of James Bondian-like spies. It’s a fun, frantic and fast-paced joy ride for all ages. Kick the tires, check under the hood – she doesn't handle like a champ - but she sure ain't no lemon.

GREEN LANTERN (D+)

2011-06-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Mark Strong, Peter Sarsgaard and Tim Robbins

Directed by: Martin Campbell (GOLDENEYE, THE MASK OF ZORRO and CASINO ROYALE)
Rated: PG-13
Story: In a universe as vast as it is mysterious, a small but powerful force has existed for centuries. Protectors of peace and justice, they are called the Green Lantern Corps. A brotherhood of warriors sworn to keep intergalactic order, each Green Lantern wears a ring that grants him superpowers. But when a new enemy called Parallax threatens to destroy the balance of power in the Universe, their fate and the fate of Earth lie in the hands of their newest recruit, the first human ever selected: Hal Jordan. Hal is a gifted and cocky test pilot, but the Green Lanterns have little respect for humans, who have never harnessed the infinite powers of the ring before. But Hal is clearly the missing piece to the puzzle, and along with his determination and willpower, he has one thing no member of the Corps has ever had: humanity. With the encouragement of fellow pilot and childhood sweetheart Carol Ferris, if Hal can quickly master his new powers and find the courage to overcome his fears, he may prove to be not only the key to defeating Parallax...he will become the greatest Green Lantern of all. (Warner Bros.)

Bottom Line: If I loved it then I would have put another ring on it – but I didn’t as it does away with much of its rich, comic book mythology (he’s part of a vast team enforcing law across more than 3500 galactic quadrants for crying out loud; yes, I’m a nerd) and opts for the path of cookie-cutter, incohesive, silly and dull. It’s a nonsensical mish-mash of spastic colors, shiny objects, loud noises, lazy acting, cheesy dialogue and slap-it-together editing. And even though it gives off a very easy, uninspired, low-expectation summer, popcorn vibe it pales by comparison to its 2011 superhero predecessors THOR (B) and X-MEN: FIRST CLASS (A-). Save your hard earned GREEN and catch this LANTERN at a matinee price or, even better, free. It’s a 300 million dollar missed opportunity.

MR. POPPER'S PENGUINS (B)

2011-06-17T07:27:00.000-07:00

Starring: Jim Carrey, Carla Gugino and Angela Lansbury

Directed by: Mark Waters (MEAN GIRLS and FREAKY FRIDAY)
Rated: PG
Story: In this family comedy, Jim Carrey is Mr. Popper, a driven businessman who is clueless when it comes to the important things in life - until he inherits six penguins. Popper's penguins turn his swank New York apartment into a snowy winter wonderland - and the rest of his life upside-down. Filmed on a refrigerated soundstage with real Emperor Penguins, Mr. Popper's Penguins is a contemporary adaptation of the classic book. (20th Century Fox)

Bottom Line: If you’re a stuffy, fun-free critic that thinks this PENGUIN movie is for the birds…then you need to chill. This story thrives solely with the involvement of Jim Carrey – who gives it everything he’s got (in a LIAR LIAR, not PET DETECTIVE, way). It’s not groundbreaking cinema and it’s pretty predictable but you should be lightly amused and entertained. Aside from, maybe, a few too many penguin poop jokes and the fact that it would probably perform much better around the winter holidays – it’s a movie for the whole family that the whole family can enjoy. POPPER’S PENGUINS is nice, nice baby!

SUPER 8 (A-)

2011-06-09T08:38:00.000-07:00

Starring: Kyle Chandler, Ron Eldard, Noah Emmerich, Elle Fanning, Riley Griffiths and Joel Courtney

Directed by: J.J. Abrams (MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III, STAR TREK and TV’s LOST)
Rated: PG-13
Story: In the summer of 1979, a group of friends in a small Ohio town witness a catastrophic train crash while making a super 8 movie and soon suspect that it was not an accident. Shortly after, unusual disappearances and inexplicable events begin to take place in town, and the local Deputy tries to uncover the truth – something more terrifying than any of them could have imagined. (Paramount Pictures)

Bottom Line: A nostalgic, Spielberg-esque, slice-of-life meets sci-fi summer crowd pleaser, SUPER 8 succeeds on almost every intended level: masterfully made, beautifully shot, tightly written and expertly acted. It’s an intelligent, funny, exciting, thrilling, suspenseful and touching tale about adolescence, friendship, young love, backyard adventures and the military hunting down something that could wipe mankind of the face of the planet. Aside from the lack of a solid emotional punch at the end it still remains a ton of fun. SUPER 8 is more like a REALLY, REALLY GOOD 8.

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS (A-)

2011-06-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

Starring: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence and Kevin Bacon

Directed by: Matthew Vaughn (LAYER CAKE and KICK-ASS)
Rated: PG-13
Story: X-Men: First Class, following the classic Marvel mythology, charts the epic beginning of the X-Men saga. Before Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr took the names Professor X and Magneto, they were two young men discovering their powers for the first time. Before they were archenemies, they were closest of friends, working together, with other Mutants (some familiar, some new), to stop the greatest threat the world has ever known. In the process, a rift between them opened, which began the eternal war between Magneto's Brotherhood and Professor X's X-Men. (20th Century Fox)

Bottom Line: Searching for a movie to see this weekend – well ‘X’ marks the spot because the recently lumbering X-MEN franchise finally moves again with speed and grace. It’ll bob, jab and, ultimately, knock you out with its intelligent and witty writing, its engagingly compelling characters and its toned-down destructive, big budget action. It doesn’t rely on spectacle – it’s mainly about characters, relationships and story – and that’s what truly makes this early James Bondian-like, retro prequel a FIRST CLASS fifth installment.

THE HANGOVER: PART II (C-)

2011-05-26T13:49:00.000-07:00

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis

Directed by: Todd Phillips (OLD SCHOOL, THE HANGOVER and DUE DATE)
Rated: R
Story: In the follow-up to the record-breaking hit comedy "The Hangover," Phil, Stu, Alan and Doug travel to exotic Thailand for Stu's wedding. After the unforgettable bachelor party in Las Vegas, Stu is taking no chances and has opted for a safe, subdued pre-wedding brunch. However, things don't always go as planned. What happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but what happens in Bangkok can't even be imagined. (Warner Bros. Pictures/Legendary Pictures)

Bottom Line: Full of predictability and lacking its signature mystery, this HANGOVER is a colder, cruder, crueler and not quite as funny carbon copy of the original…with a lot more male nudity for good measure (and no, ladies I work with, my good friend Tom, my wife and my mom – not Bradley Cooper). Unashamedly latching on to its familiar set-ups (which only really works in DIE HARD movies, right?!), the script’s laughs are few and far between. Don’t get me wrong – you will laugh because some of it is hilarious. The problem is that some of it is also flat and uninspired. If the freshness of PART I was how you feel mid-consumption on an adult beverage binge then PART II is, indeed, how you’d feel the next morning.

KUNG FU PANDA 2 (B/A+/A+)

2011-05-26T13:44:00.001-07:00

Starring the voices of: Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogen and Gary Oldman

Rated: PG
Story: Po is now living his dream as The Dragon Warrior, protecting the Valley of Peace alongside his friends and fellow kung fu masters, The Furious Five - Tigress, Crane, Mantis, Viper and Monkey. But Po's new life of awesomeness is threatened by the emergence of a formidable villain, who plans to use a secret, unstoppable weapon to conquer China and destroy kung fu. It is up to Po and The Furious Five to journey across China to face this threat and vanquish it. But how can Po stop a weapon that can stop kung fu? He must look to his past and uncover the secrets of his mysterious origins; only then will he be able to unlock the strength he needs to succeed. (DreamWorks Animation)

Bottom Line: Heavy on action yet light on heart, KUNG FU PANDA 2 delivers colorful set pieces, eye-catching animation, effective utilization of the 3D format, explosive action and a tiny dash of charm (not nearly as much as the original, but charm none-the-less). My two boys were locked-in from the moment the theater lights dimmed and, afterwards, quickly proclaimed it an A+ movie. It’s not that good – but it’s fun. If they keep making animated KUNG FU movies like this I could bear to see another PANDA sequel.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES (C+)

2011-05-19T08:31:00.000-07:00

Starring: Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush and Ian McShane

Directed by: Rob Marshall (CHICAGO, NINE and MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA)
Rated: PG-13
Story: Crossing paths with the enigmatic Angelica, Captain Jack Sparrow is not sure if it's love—or if she's a ruthless con artist who's using him to find the fabled Fountain of Youth. When she forces him aboard the "Queen Anne's Revenge," the ship of the legendary pirate Blackbeard, Jack finds himself on an unexpected adventure in which he doesn't know whom to fear more: Blackbeard or Angelica, with whom he shares a mysterious past. (Walt Disney Pictures)

Bottom Line: Yo ho ho and bottle of ho-hum! No stranger here, in the fourth installment of the popular PIRATES franchise, as everything seems eerily familiar – just made with a lot less passion. Clocking in at almost 2 hours and 20 minutes, ON STRANGER TIDES is a needlessly long, meandering, action-forced and semi-incohesive sea-going flick that was made to deliver boat loads of money and mildly entertain (which it does do from time to time). Although it neither sinks nor swims, the whole affair has lost most of its freshness, grit, swagger and big budget pop. It’s an adventure about the fountain of youth that’s lost its youthful charm.

BRIDESMAIDS (B+)

2011-05-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

Starring: Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph and Rose Byrne

Rated: R
Story: Annie's life is a mess. But when she finds out her lifetime best friend is engaged, she simply must serve as Lillian's maid of honor. Though lovelorn and broke, Annie bluffs her way through the expensive and bizarre rituals. With one chance to get it perfect, she'll show Lillian and her bridesmaids just how far you'll go for someone you love. (Universal Pictures)

Bottom Line: Best described as MY BEST FRIEND’S WEDDING meets THE HANGOVER. BRIDEMAIDS is a fresh take on a stale genre – it’s an occasionally sweet, frequently gross, thoroughly engaging, sporadically smart, slightly edgy, repeatedly over-the-top and emotionally straight forward movie that’s fun for all age-appropriate groups…including moms (mine gave it an A-). BRIDEMAIDS may have its minor flaws (heavily edited; over two hours long) but it still delivers the summer-comedy goods!

THOR (B)

2011-05-06T14:35:00.000-07:00

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins, Tom Hiddleston, Clark Gregg and Stellan Skarsgard

Directed by: Kenneth Branagh (HAMLET, AS YOU LIKE IT and MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING)
Rated: PG-13
Story: Thor spans the Marvel Universe from present day Earth to the realm of Asgard. At the center of the story is the mighty Thor, a powerful but arrogant warrior whose reckless actions reignite an ancient war. Thor is cast down to Earth by his father Odin and is forced to live among humans. A beautiful, young scientist, Jane Foster, has a profound effect on Thor, as she ultimately becomes his first love. It's while here on Earth that Thor learns what it takes to be a true hero when the most dangerous villain of his world sends the darkest forces of Asgard to invade Earth. (Paramount Pictures, Marvel Studios)

Bottom Line: THOR lifts the basic and requisite Cliff’s Notes™ elements off better movies like SPIDER-MAN 2 (writing), THE DARK KNIGHT (directing) and IRON MAN (casting) and uses exactly what was needed to entertain yet not completely dazzle. It’s an amiable, accessible, mythically-mainstream, action-packed summer blockbuster that’s easy on the eyes, ears and brain. It’s not groundbreaking superhero cinema but sure is lots of fun. THOR doesn’t thuck!

SOMETHING BORROWED (D)

2011-05-06T11:41:00.000-07:00

Starring: Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson, Colin Egglesfield and John Krasinski

Rated: PG-13
Story: Rachel is a talented attorney at a top New York law firm, a generous and loyal friend and, unhappily, still single...as her engaged best friend Darcy is constantly reminding her. But after one drink too many at her 30th birthday party, perpetual good girl Rachel unexpectedly ends up in bed with the guy she's had a crush on since law school, Dex, who just happens to be Darcy's fiancé. When Rachel and Darcy's lifelong friendship collides with true love, it leads to unexpected complications and potentially explosive romantic revelations. Meanwhile, Ethan, who has been Rachel's constant confidante and sometimes conscience, has been harboring a secret of his own, and Marcus, an irrepressible womanizer, can't keep his mind out of the gutter or his hands off any girl within reach. (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Bottom Line: SOMETHING BORROWED?! More like SOMETHING STOLEN…like your valuable time if you pay to see this routine, uninteresting, formulaic, melodramatic and predictable chick-flick wedding retread that, admittedly, has a couple of winning performances to keep it from completely drowning. I thought when Hollywood makes movies like this we’re supposed to shove their nose it and smack ‘em on the rear with a rolled up newspaper…you know, so they never do it again.

FAST FIVE (B)

2011-04-29T16:52:00.000-07:00

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster and Dwayne Johnson

Rated: PG-13
Story: Vin Diesel and Paul Walker lead a reunion of returning all-stars from every chapter of the explosive franchise built on speed in "Fast Five." In this installment, former cop Brian O'Conner partners with ex-con Dom Toretto on the opposite side of the law. (Universal Pictures)

Bottom Line: Like most of its predecessors, FAST FIVE is indeed big, bold and brainless…but it works, as the concept swings away from car racing to a broader, more action viewer friendly OCEANS 11 meets CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER meets the World Wrestling Federation hybrid. It’s too long, cheesy and it defies the laws of physics – but put that all aside (which you should be doing anyway…because it’s a FAST AND FURIOUS sequel) and there’s a great deal of pre-summer, eye-rolling, fun to be had. Far from a ten, I’m giving FIVE a seven.

HOODWINKED TOO! HOOD VS. EVIL (D/A/A)

2011-04-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

Starring the voices of: Glenn Close, Hayden Panettiere, Patrick Warburton, Amy Poehler, Andy Dick, Joan Cusack, Bill Hader, Brad Garrett, Martin Short, Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong

Rated: PG
Story: Red Riding Hood is training in the group of Sister Hoods, when she and the Wolf are called to examine the sudden mysterious disappearance of Hansel and Gretel. (The Weinstein Company)

Bottom Line: Everyone remembers the 2005 original, right? Yeah, I didn’t think so. The kindest thing I can say about this lifeless HOODWINKED sequel is take your kids to see RIO. If you’ve already taken your kids to see RIO…then take your kids to see RIO again. My 6 and 4 year old boys enjoyed HOODWINKED TOO (although they both gave it an ‘A’ as supposed to their standard ‘A+’…which inspires hope as they’re learning the balanced art of downgrading). From a parent’s point of view, however, this below sub-par, Red Riding Hood, fairy tale, mish-mash provides nothing more than 90 minutes of childcare while mom and/or dad catch an in-theater nap. The animation is sloppy, the story uncreative and the lazy pop culture references thick. Take your kids to see the bird movie ‘cause Mother Goose just laid an egg.

WATER FOR ELEPHANTS (B-)

2011-04-22T22:52:00.000-07:00

Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Robert Pattinson and Cristoph Waltz

Rated: PG-13
Story: Water for Elephants presents an unexpected romance in a uniquely compelling setting. Veterinary school student Jacob meets and falls in love with Marlena, a star performer in a circus of a bygone era. They discover beauty amidst the world of the Big Top, and come together through their compassion for a special elephant. Against all odds -- including the wrath of Marlena's charismatic but dangerous husband, August -- Jacob and Marlena find lifelong love. (20th Century Fox)

Bottom line: This melodramatic, big top, forbidden love, three-ring, tearjerker, chick flick is not the greatest show on earth. It is, however, a deeply romantic, beautifully envisioned and passionate ode to the Hollywood romances of yesteryear. Simply put – and if movies were to mate – it would most certainly be the cinematic love child of THE NOTEBOOK and TITANIC. And if WATER FOR ELEPHANTS were indeed a huge, seagoing passenger vessel – then its actor’s on screen chemistry (or huge lack thereof) would be the metaphorical iceberg that started the ship sinking. Good thing it ended when it did…you know, before my ‘stupid allergies’ starting acting up. *sniff*

DISNEYNATURE'S AFRICAN CATS (B+)

2011-04-22T09:32:00.000-07:00

Narrated by: Samuel L. Jackson

Rated: G
Story: An epic true story set against the backdrop of one of the wildest places on Earth, "African Cats" captures the real-life love, humor and determination of the majestic kings of the savanna. The story features Mara, an endearing lion cub who strives to grow up with her mother's strength, spirit and wisdom; Sita, a fearless cheetah and single mother of five mischievous newborns; and Fang, a proud leader of the pride who must defend his family from a once banished lion. (Disneynature)

Bottom Line: An intriguingly intense, beautifully filmed and remarkably touching film that plays out like a live-action LION KING (minus the singing warthog, of course). Two of my boys (ages 6 and 4) found the non-graphic and relatively bloodless hunt-for-dinner scenes a little intense but they still ended up loving it (and, most importantly, sitting still for a 90-minute documentary). I’ll celebrate Earth Day by not burning Styrofoam in my driveway if you celebrate it by taking your family to see Disneynature’s AFRICAN CATS.

RIO (B)

2011-04-15T07:20:00.000-07:00

Starring the voices of: Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, George Lopez, Will.i.am and Jamie Fox

Rated: PG
Story: Set in the magnificent city of Rio de Janeiro and the lush rainforest of Brazil, the comedy-adventure centers on Blu, a rare macaw who thinks he is the last of his kind. When Blu discovers there's another — and that she's a she — he leaves the comforts of his cage in small town Minnesota and heads to Rio. But it's far from love at first sight between the domesticated and flight-challenged Blu and the fiercely independent, high-flying female, Jewel. Unexpectedly thrown together, they embark on an adventure of a lifetime, where they learn about friendship, love, courage, and being open to life's many wonders. "Rio" brings together a menagerie of vivid characters, a heart-warming story, colorful backdrops, energizing Latin and contemporary music, and family-friendly song and dance. (20th Century Fox)

Bottom Line: Kids will adore (mine loved it) and parents will enjoy this light, engaging, and culturally accessible story for the birds. Its vibrant visuals coupled with straight forward (if not redundant) message – that, basically, courage, friendship and love are all good things – make RIO a must see for the entire family. Although it lacks any real Pixar-like emotional punch or depth it still makes for a light-hearted, spirited and good ol’ fashioned time at the movies. When RIO shines it really shows you all it can…

SCREAM 4 (B-)

2011-04-15T07:17:00.000-07:00

Starring: Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Rory Culkin and Emma Roberts

Directed by: Wes Craven
Rated: R
Story: Sidney Prescott, now the author of a self-help book, returns home to Woodsboro on the last stop of her book tour. There she reconnects with Sheriff Dewey and Gale, who are now married, as well as her cousin Jill and her Aunt Kate. Unfortunately, Sidney's appearance also brings about the return of Ghostface, putting Sidney, Gale, and Dewey, along with Jill, her friends, and the whole town of Woodsboro in danger. (Dimension Films)

Bottom Line: SCREAM 4 adequately mocks and embraces the horror genre all at the same time. It’s a little cheesy and too self-referential for its own good (which is the idea; although I’m not sure they intended to be as over-the-top as it is) – but it mostly knows how to maintain the suspense, occasionally entertain and, heaven forbid, be a watchable movie. It won’t bring back much life to a dilapidated genre – but it works. If you’re a fan of the series carve out a little time this weekend – you won’t be disappointed.

THE HANGOVER: PART II POSTERS (opens 5/26)

2011-04-14T15:26:00.000-07:00

Click for a larger view. (Warner Bros. 2011)

ARTHUR (C-)

2011-04-08T06:26:00.000-07:00

Starring: Russell Brand, Helen Mirren, Greta Gerwig, Jennifer Garner and Nick Nolte

Rated: PG-13
Story: Irresponsible charmer Arthur Bach has always relied on two things to get by: his limitless fortune and the good sense of lifelong nanny Hobson to keep him out of trouble. Now he faces his biggest challenge--choosing between an arranged marriage that will ensure his lavish lifestyle or an uncertain future with the one thing money can't buy, Naomi, the only woman he has ever loved. With Naomi's inspiration and some unconventional help from Hobson, Arthur will take the most expensive risk of his life and finally learn what it means to become a man, in this re-imagining of the 1981 classic romantic comedy ‘Arthur’. (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Bottom Line: ARTHUR he does what he pleases – which, apparently, is to come up with nary a shred of original thought. It’s an uncalculated, rushed and by-the-numbers remake with a little bit of heart and almost no soul…but it’s not awful. It’s meandering and hollow with glimmers of promise, faint touches of cute and a whole lot of harmless, reigned-in Russell Brand humor taking center stage. If the filmmakers were truly caught between the moon and New York City though…is this really the best that they could do?!

YOUR HIGHNESS (D)

2011-04-08T06:24:00.000-07:00

Starring: Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman and Zooey Deschanel

Directed by: David Gordon Green (THE PINEAPPLE EXPRESS)
Rated: R
Story: Throughout history, tales of chivalry have burnished the legends of brave, handsome knights who rescue fair damsels, slay dragons and conquer evil. But behind many a hero is a good-for-nothing younger brother trying just to stay out of the way of those dragons, evil and trouble in general. Danny McBride and James Franco team up for an epic comedy adventure set in a fantastical world--"Your Highness." As two princes on a daring mission to save their land, they must rescue the heir apparent's fiancée before their kingdom is destroyed. (Universal Pictures)

Bottom Line: Critics will mock but the frat boys will flock! This medieval stoner comedy is a somewhat noble idea that’s ultimately bogged down by too much vulgarity and not enough creative thought – and that vulgarity, by the way (which I usually applaud when done correctly) gets old after about 11 minutes. YOUR LOW-NESS is a minimally funny, often flat, rarely involving, mostly shocking and always raunchy crusade thru the pre-summer release doldrums of April.

SOURCE CODE (B+)

2011-04-01T10:13:00.000-07:00

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Monaghan and Vera Farmiga

Directed by: Duncan Jones (MOON)
Rated: PG-13
Story: When decorated soldier Captain Colter Stevens wakes up in the body of an unknown man, he discovers he's part of a mission to find the bomber of a Chicago commuter train. In an assignment unlike any he's ever known, he learns he's part of a government experiment called the "Source Code," a program that enables him to cross over into another man's identity in the last 8 minutes of his life. With a second, much larger target threatening to kill millions in downtown Chicago, Colter re-lives the incident over and over again, gathering clues each time, until he can solve the mystery of who is behind the bombs and prevent the next attack. (Summit Entertainment)

Bottom Line: GROUNDHOG DAY meets SPEED by way of television’s QUANTUM LEAP. Put those all together, like this movie, and you’re left with a smart, fun, breezy, easily-accessible, straight-shooting, popcorn-munching, action-packed, romantic sci-fi thriller. It hooks you in and entertains…and that is the source of your entertainment this weekend (well, at least two hours of it anyway).

HOP (C-/A/A)

2011-04-01T10:04:00.000-07:00

Starring: Russell Brand and James Marsden

Directed by: Tim Hill (ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS and GARFIELD: A TALE OF TWO KITTIES)
Rated: PG
Story: From the creators of "Despicable Me" comes "Hop," the comic tale of Fred, an out-of-work slacker who accidentally injures the Easter Bunny and must take him in as he recovers. (Universal Pictures)

Bottom Line: HOP is just a hare above being annoying (that’d be a great critic quote for the DVD box art, wouldn’t it?!) and if you’ve seen the live-action-meets-animated ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS then you’ll be prepared for what this has in store. Casting the voice talents of Russell Brand as the Easter Bunny was a clever move but almost everything else smacks of a Santa Claus storyline rip-off. There are a few laughs, a cute factor at play and my 6- and 4- year old boys loved it (they both gave it an A; based on my intricate grading scale) so definitely take your kids but don’t you, as a parent, go in expecting too much…or you’ll come out hopping mad.

10 SUMMER MOVIES I WANNA SEE

2011-03-28T23:10:00.000-07:00

I think what you'll find in me, as far as being a movie critic goes, is that I'm not afarid to have a little fun. Where many bemoan the arrival of the summer box office - I bask in all (or at least most...well, many) of their exciting, coloful, big-budget, high-concept, largely-scoped, action-packed, light-hearted and/or knee-slapping antics. Give me popcorn flicks!

So if dimly-lit, moody, art-house fare is more to your liking – then stick around – because you just may find one or two movies to your liking below.

Here are 10 movies I want to see this summer:

BRIDESMAIDS (May 13):
Starring: Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph and Rose Byrne

Story: Annie's life is a mess. But when she finds out her lifetime best friend is engaged, she simply must serve as Lillian's maid of honor. Though lovelorn and broke, Annie bluffs her way through the expensive and bizarre rituals. With one chance to get it perfect, she'll show Lillian and her bridesmaids just how far you'll go for someone you love. (Universal Pictures)

THE HANGOVER PART II (May 26)
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis

Story: In the follow-up to the record-breaking hit comedy "The Hangover," Phil, Stu, Alan and Doug travel to exotic Thailand for Stu's wedding. After the unforgettable bachelor party in Las Vegas, Stu is taking no chances and has opted for a safe, subdued pre-wedding brunch. However, things don't always go as planned. What happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but what happens in Bangkok can't even be imagined. (Warner Bros. Pictures/Legendary Pictures)

KUNG FU PANDA 2 (May 26)
Starring: Jack Black, Angelina Jolie and Jackie Chan

Story: Po is now living his dream as The Dragon Warrior, protecting the Valley of Peace alongside his friends and fellow kung fu masters, The Furious Five. But Po’s new life of awesomeness is threatened by the emergence of a formidable villain, who plans to use a secret, unstoppable weapon to conquer China and destroy kung fu. He must look to his past and uncover the secrets of his mysterious origins; only then will Po be able to unlock the strength he needs to succeed.

THE TREE OF LIFE (May 27)
Starring: Brad Pitt and Sean Penn

Story: From Terrence Malick, the acclaimed director of such classic films as Badlands, Days of Heaven and The Thin Red Line, The Tree of Life is the impressionistic story of a Midwestern family in the 1950's. The film follows the life journey of the eldest son, Jack, through the innocence of childhood to his disillusioned adult years as he tries to reconcile a complicated relationship with his father (Brad Pitt). Jack (played as an adult by Sean Penn) finds himself a lost soul in the modern world, seeking answers to the origins and meaning of life while questioning the existence of faith. Through Malick's signature imagery, we see how both brute nature and spiritual grace shape not only our lives as individuals and families, but all life.

SUPER 8 (June 10)
Starring: Kyle Chandler, Elle Fanning and Ron Eldard

Story: In the summer of 1979, a group of friends in a small Ohio town witness a catastrophic train crash while making a super 8 movie and soon suspect that it was not an accident. Shortly after, unusual disappearances and inexplicable events begin to take place in town, and the local Deputy tries to uncover the truth – something more terrifying than any of them could have imagined.

LARRY CROWNE (July 1)
Starring: Tom hanks and Julia Roberts

Story: Until he was downsized, affable, amiable Larry Crowne was a superstar team leader at the big-box company where he's worked since his time in the Navy. Underwater on his mortgage and unclear on what to do with his suddenly free days, Larry heads to his local college to start over. There he becomes part of a colorful community of outcasts, also-rans and the overlooked all trying to find a better future for themselves...often moving around town in a herd of scooters. In his public-speaking class, Larry develops an unexpected crush on his teacher Mercedes Tainot, who has lost as much passion for teaching as she has for her husband. The simple guy who has every reason to think his life has stalled will come to learn an unexpected lesson: when you think everything worth having has passed you by, you just might discover your reason to live. (Universal Pictures)

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER (July 22)
Starring: Chris Evans, Tommy Lee Jones and Hugo Weaving

Story: "Captain America: The First Avenger" will focus on the early days of the Marvel Universe when Steve Rogers volunteers to participate in an experimental program that turns him into the Super Soldier known as Captain America. (Paramount Pictures)

COWBOYS & ALIENS (July 29)
Starring: Daniel Craige, Harrison Ford and Olivia Wilde

Story: 1873. Arizona Territory. A stranger with no memory of his past stumbles into the hard desert town of Absolution. The only hint to his history is a mysterious shackle that encircles one wrist. What he discovers is that the people of Absolution don't welcome strangers, and nobody makes a move on its streets unless ordered to do so by the iron-fisted Colonel Dolarhyde. It's a town that lives in fear. But Absolution is about to experience fear it can scarcely comprehend as the desolate city is attacked by marauders from the sky. Screaming down with breathtaking velocity and blinding lights to abduct the helpless one by one, these monsters challenge everything the residents have ever known. Now, the stranger they rejected is their only hope for salvation. As this gunslinger slowly starts to remember who he is and where he's been, he realizes he holds a secret that could give the town a fighting chance against the alien force. With the help of the elusive traveler Ella, he pulls together a posse comprised of former opponents—townsfolk, Dolarhyde and his boys, outlaws and Apache warriors—all in danger of annihilation. United against a common enemy, they will prepare for an epic showdown for survival. (Universal Pictures)

DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK (August 12)
Starring: Guy Pierce and Katie Holmes

Story: When a little girl is sent to live with her father and his girlfriend in the old mansion they are renovating, she unwittingly unleashes malevolent creatures bent on destroying all of them.

THE DEBT (August 31)
Starring: Helen Mirren, Sam Worthington and Tom Wilkinson
Story: The Debt is the powerful story of Rachel Singer, a former Mossad agent who endeavored to capture and bring to trial a notorious Nazi war criminal—the Surgeon of Birkenau—in a secret Israeli mission that ended with his death on the streets of East Berlin. Now, 30 years later, a man claiming to be the doctor has surfaced, and Rachel must go back to Eastern Europe to uncover the truth. Overwhelmed by haunting memories of her younger self and her two fellow agents, the still-celebrated heroine must relive the trauma of those events and confront the debt she has incurred. (Miramax Films)

SUCKER PUNCH (F)

2011-03-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

Starring: Emily Browning, Abby Cornish, Vanessa Hudgens, Carla Gugino and Scott Glenn

Directed by: Zac Snyder (300 and Watchmen)
Rated: PG-13
Story: She has been locked away against her will, but Babydoll has not lost her will to survive. Determined to fight for her freedom, she urges four other young girls—the outspoken Rocket, the street-smart Blondie, the fiercely loyal Amber and the reluctant Sweet Pea—to band together and try to escape their terrible fate at the hands of their captors, Blue, Madam Gorski and the High Roller. (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Bottom Line: SUCKER PUNCH - as in you’re a SUCKER for wanting to see this movie and you should PUNCH yourself in the face instead. They spent a lot of money to make this so it equates to nothing more than cinematic vomit…only wrapped in a shiny bow. The dialogue laughable, the characters uninteresting, the acting horrendous and the story scrapped together from dozens of other ideas from movies like INCEPTION, THE MATRIX, ALICE IN WONDERLAND, SIN CITY, BLACK SWAN, KILL BILL, LORD OF THE RINGS, SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW, REIGN OF FIRE, BATMAN BEGINS, IROBOT, GI JOE and that’s to name but a few. SUCKER PUNCH is a boring, non-sensical, amped-up, tone-deaf, hyper-active, unoriginal, over-caffeinated, self-indulgent, all-over-the-map, check-your-watch-multiple-times-and-consider-walking-out waste of celluloid space – and easily the worst movie I’ve seen in years.

THE LINCOLN LAWYER (A-)

2011-03-18T09:54:00.000-07:00

Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Marisa Tomei, Ryan Phillippe, Josh Lucas and William H. Macy
Rated: R
Story: Mickey Haller is a Los Angeles criminal defense attorney who operates out of the back of his Lincoln Continental sedan. Haller has spent most of his career defending garden-variety criminals, until he lands the case of a lifetime: defending a Beverly Hills playboy accused of murder. But the seemingly straightforward case suddenly develops into a deadly game of survival for Haller. "The Lincoln Lawyer" is based on the best-selling Michael Connelly novel. (Lionsgate)

Bottom Line: Zigging and zagging his way thru a fairly predictable yet thoroughly engaging and polished piece of double-crossing pie - McConaughey shines as a slick, booze-swilling, street smart and rarely shirtless (I said ‘rarely’) charm-hound bent on using the system to his advantage. A solid cast, interesting characters and tight script make this legal pot-boiler a must see during this madness of March…

PAUL (B)

2011-03-18T09:52:00.000-07:00

Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Seth Rogen and Jason Bateman
Rated: R
Story: Two sci-fi geek’s pilgrimage takes them to America's UFO heartland where they accidentally meet an alien who brings them on an insane road trip that alters their universe forever.

Bottom Line: An intergalactic, pop-culture RV road trip through sci-fi, geekdom that, while not earth shattering, remains an energetic, clever and sweet little ode to all things not of this planet.

LIMITLESS (B-)

2011-03-18T09:50:00.000-07:00

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Abby Cornish and Robert DeNiro
Rated: PG-13
Story: Out-of-work writer Eddie Morra's rejection by girlfriend Lindy confirms his belief that he has zero future. That all vanishes the day an old friend introduces Eddie to MDT, a designer pharmaceutical that makes him laser focused and more confident than any man alive. Now on an MDT-fueled odyssey, everything Eddie's read, heard or seen is instantly organized and available to him. As the former nobody rises to the top of the financial world, he draws the attention of business mogul Carl Van Loon, who sees this enhanced version of Eddie as the tool to make billions. But brutal side effects jeopardize his meteoric ascent. With a dwindling stash and hit men who will eliminate him to get the MDT, Eddie must stay wired long enough to elude capture and fulfill his destiny. If he can't, he will become just another victim who thought he'd found invincibility in a bottle. (Relativity Media)

Bottom Line: A stylishly paranoid and adrenaline-fueled ‘what would you do if you were in his shoes’ thriller that delivers the occasional popcorn, cinematic highs (and just as many been-there-done-that lows). It could have been sharper, it should have been smarter - so it may give you the munchies for something a bit better. The movie actually does have its limits – but it would still make for a perfect matinee priced sit…

BATTLE: LOS ANGELES (C-)

2011-03-11T09:15:00.000-08:00

Starring: Aaron Eckhart, Bridget Moynahan and Michelle Rodriguez

Rated: R

Story: In 2011, what where once just UFO sightings become a terrifying reality when Earth is attacked by unknown forces. As people everywhere watch the world's great cities fall, Los Angeles becomes the last stand for mankind in a battle no one expected. It's up to a marine staff sergeant and his new platoon to draw a line in the sand as they take on an enemy unlike any they've ever encountered before. (Columbia Pictures)

Bottom Line: The title doesn’t lie – but were it called INTERESTING STORY: LOS ANGELES then we’d have a problem. Two-dimensional characters meet ham-fisted dialogue in this thunderous, non-stop, clichéd shaky cam action flick that plays like a video game without all that silly, cumbersome depth of character. Think SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, DISTRICT 9, BLACK HAWK DOWN, WAR OF THE WORLDS, THE HURT LOCKER or even TRANSFORMERS. Now, think of a movie that’s nowhere near as good as those. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you BATTLE: LOS ANGELES.

MARS NEEDS MOMS (C+, B, A and S)

2011-03-11T09:11:00.000-08:00

Starring the voices of: Seth Green, Joan Cusack and Dan Fogler

Rated: PG

Story: Take out the trash, eat your broccoli—who needs moms, anyway? Nine-year-old Milo finds out just how much he needs his mom when she's nabbed by Martians who plan to steal her mom-ness for their own young. Produced by the team behind "Disney's A Christmas Carol" and "The Polar Express," "Mars Needs Moms" showcases Milo's quest to save his mom—a wild adventure in Disney Digital 3D™ and IMAX® 3D that involves stowing away on a spaceship, navigating an elaborate, multi-level planet and taking on the alien nation and their leader. With the help of a tech-savvy, underground earthman named Gribble and a rebel Martian girl called Ki, Milo just might find his way back to his mom—in more ways than one. Based on the book by Berkeley Breathed.(Walt Disney Pictures)

Bottom Line: The story is fast-paced, occasionally touching and splashed with a few solid messages about motherhood and family. They still haven’t perfected the motion capture animation and some of the situations are a bit intense for younger viewers (like, oh I don’t know, having your mom kidnapped by aliens!) but it’s still a a wild if not completely original ride. Saw it with the fam so here’s all four grades: Me: C+. Mrs. Movie Guy: B. My 6-year old boy: A. My 4-year old boy: S…which, of course, stands for ‘Scay-wee’.

RANGO (B+)

2011-03-04T07:23:00.000-08:00

Starring the voices of: Johnny Depp, Isla Fisher, Ned Beatty and Timothy Olyphant

Directed by: Gore Verbinski (PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 1, 2 and 3)

Rated: PG

Story: The story follows the comical, transformative journey of Rango, a sheltered chameleon living as an ordinary family pet, while facing a major identity crisis. After all, how high can you aim when your whole purpose in life is to blend in? When Rango accidentally winds up in the gritty, gun-slinging town of Dirt - a lawless outpost populated by the desert's most wily and whimsical creatures - the less-than-courageous lizard suddenly finds he stands out. Welcomed as the last hope the town has been waiting for, new Sheriff Rango is forced to play his new role to the hilt . . . until, in a blaze of action-packed situations and encounters with outrageous characters, Rango starts to become the hero he once only pretended to be. (Paramount Pictures)

Bottom Line: The visuals don’t colorfully pop like Pixar – but they’re every bit as impressive – and the story, paying homage to the Spaghetti Westerns of the 60’s, is downright fun. It might be a little intense for younger kids but this smart, tumbleweed-rollin’, critter-infested, boot-kicker makes for a very pleasant, early March surprise. Just like the Clint Eastwood cowboy movies that inspired it, RANGO truly made my day!

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU (B+)

2011-03-04T07:22:00.000-08:00

Starring: Matt Damon and Emily Blunt

Rated: PG-13

Story: On the brink of winning a seat in the U.S. Senate, ambitious politician David Norris meets a beautiful contemporary ballet dancer--a woman like none he's ever known. But just as he realizes he's falling for her, mysterious men conspire to keep the two apart. (Universal Pictures)

Bottom Line: A simple yet intelligent, sci-fi, romantic thriller (from the author of MINORITY REPORT, TOTAL RECALL and BLADE RUNNER) whose story boils over with frenzied excitement, gripping action and two stellar performances from its leads. Two solid movies opening this early in the year? Good for you! Let’s see if we can make it 3 for 3 this weekend…

TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT (C-)

2011-03-04T07:20:00.000-08:00

Starring: Topher Grace and Anna Faris

Rated: R

Story: Recent MIT grad Matt Franklinshould be working for a Fortune 500 company and starting his upward climb to full-fledged yuppie-hood. Instead, the directionless 23-year-old confounds family and friends by taking a part-time job behind the counter of a video store at the Sherman Oaks Galleria. But Matt's silent protest against maturity comes to a screeching halt once his unrequited high school crush, Tori Frederking, walks into the store. When she invites him to an epic, end-of-summer party, Matt thinks he finally might have a chance with the girl of his dreams. With his cynical twin sister Wendy and best friend Barry, Matt embarks on a once-in-a-lifetime evening. From stealing a car to a marriage proposal to an indescribable, no-holds-barred dance-off, these friends share experiences that will change the course of their lives on one unforgettable night in the Go-Go '80s. (Relativity Media)

Bottom Line: I guess 2 for 3 ain’t bad. Funny bits here, sweet bits there – but it swings and misses at being some sort of John Hughes-like, young adults are really witty romp. It’s not flat out awful – it just doesn’t bring anything new or intriguing to the table. If you’re thinking of seeing TAKE ME HOME TONGHT tonight – might I suggest staying home tonight and maybe, just maybe – when it comes out on DVD/Bluray – taking it home that night.

2011 Movie Guy Oscar Predictions

2011-02-25T14:16:00.000-08:00

You can find the broadcast on ABC this Sunday (2/27) at 8/5p. So you have a little time to catch THE KING'S SPEECH, BLACK SWAN, THE FIGHTER and TRUE GRIT in theaters - or, you can rent THE SOCIAL NETWORK, TOY STORY 3, INCEPTION, WINTER'S BONE or THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT on DVD/Bluray. Below you can find my picks (possible spoilers) for the winner's circle. Use it as you wish, impress your friends, make yourself look knowledgeable in the fine art of cinema and make money...were making money legal in this type of circumstance. Most importantly...have fun and feel free to disagree with me on anything you see below. Have a Happy Valenoscarirthiversary!

Click the below image to enlarge...

HALL PASS (C-)

2011-02-25T13:47:00.000-08:00

Starring: Owen Wilson, Jason Sudeikis, Christina Applegate and Jenna Fischer

Directed by: The Farrelly Brothers (DUMB AND DUMBER and THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY)

Rated: R

Story: Rick and Fred are best friends who have a lot in common, including the fact that they have each been married for many years. But when the two men begin to show signs of restlessness at home, their wives take a bold approach to revitalizing their individual marriages: granting them a "hall pass," one week of freedom to do whatever they want...no questions asked. (Warner Bros.)

Bottom Line: The last time The Farrelly Brothers made a solid comedy (THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY) the year was 1998. They’ve lost some of their touch over the past 12 years and it shows... There’s some fun to be had but the effort as a whole feels forcefully flat as they try to balance the sweet with the insane. Laughter does occasionally ensue but for the most part this HALL PASS feels more like detention.

UNKNOWN (C)

2011-02-18T09:15:00.000-08:00

Starring: Liam Neeson, January Jones and Diane Kruger

Rated: PG-13

Story: Dr. Martin Harris awakens after a car accident in Berlin to discover that his wife suddenly doesn't recognize him and another man has assumed his identity. Ignored by disbelieving authorities and hunted by mysterious assassins, he finds himself alone, tired and on the run. Aided by an unlikely ally, Martin plunges headlong into a deadly mystery that will force him to question his sanity, his identity, and just how far he's willing to go to uncover the truth. (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Bottom Line: In a world where James Bond, Jason Bourne and even Bryan Mills (from Neeson’s own 2009 hit TAKEN) rule the man-on-a-mission roost - it’s hard to fully buy in to this sometimes fun and easily forgettable mistaken identity thriller. The action is high, the originality low and the predictability and eye-rolling qwinky-dinks even lower. I’d suggest getting to know UNKNOWN…but waiting to know it on DVD.

I AM NUMBER FOUR (C-)

2011-02-18T09:11:00.000-08:00

Starring: Alex Pettyfer, Dianaa Agron and Timothy Olyphant
Rated: PG-13

Story: Three are dead. Who is Number Four? Extraordinary teen, John Smith is a fugitive on the run from ruthless enemies sent to destroy him. Changing his identity, moving from town to town with his guardian Henri, John is always the new kid with no ties to his past. In the small Ohio town he now calls home, John encounters unexpected, life-changing events—his first love, powerful new abilities and a connection to the others who share his incredible destiny. (DreamWorks Pictures)

Bottom Line: A big budget, big screen, mishmash where 90210 meets SMALLVILLE by way of THE TWILIGHT SAGA. It’s not great cinema and yet they still found a way to make it more watchable and entertaining than those silly, aforementioned, doe-eyed teeny vampire flicks. It delivers some solid acting punches but still remains a pretty bland, uncreative and cheesy popcorn flick.

BIG MOMMAS: LIKE FATHER LIKE SON (did not see)

2011-02-18T09:09:00.000-08:00

Starring: Martin Lawrence and Brandon T. Jackson

Rated: PG-13

Story: Big Momma is back - and this time he has big backup: his teenage stepson Trent. Martin Lawrence returns as FBI agent Malcolm Turner and as Turner’s deep-cover alter-ego Big Momma. Turner is joined by Trent, as they go undercover at an all-girls performing arts school after Trent witnesses a murder. Posing as Big Momma and as hefty coed Charmaine, they must find the murderer before he finds them. (20th Century Fox)

Bottom Line: Put a bar of soap in a tube sock, thwack yourself on the head and I’m pretty sure you’ll experience the same pain had you actually seen this movie. You’ll also end up saving twelve bucks.

JUST GO WITH IT (D)

2011-02-11T09:31:00.000-08:00

Starring: Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston

Rated: PG-13

Story: A plastic surgeon, romancing a much younger schoolteacher, enlists his loyal assistant to pretend to be his soon to be ex-wife, in order to cover up a careless lie. When more lies backfire, the assistant's kids become involved, and everyone heads off for a weekend in Hawaii that will change all their lives. (Sony Pictures)

Bottom Line: I love when a movie’s title asks you to tolerate a movie before you’ve even seen it. Although there are some occasional laughs – this is another Sandler misfire. I will say however that it was nice seeing Jennifer Aniston grow as an actress…and play the exact same character she plays in every movie. Again, sporadic laughs exist but the first half is lazy, limp and sophomoric – but if you JUST GO WITH IT you’ll find the second half to be more of the same.

GNOMEO AND JULIET (B)

2011-02-11T09:29:00.001-08:00

Starring the voices of: Emily Blunt, James McAvoy and Maggie Smith

Rated: G

Story: The greatest love story ever told, starring... garden gnomes? In the upcoming "Gnomeo & Juliet," Shakespeare's revered tale gets a comical, off-thewall makeover. Gnomeo and Juliet have as many obstacles to overcome when they are caught up in a feud between neighbors. But with plastic pink flamingos and thrilling lawnmower races in the mix, can this young couple find lasting happiness? (Touchstone Pictures)

Bottom Line: It’s a weirdly offbeat and bizarre retelling that delivers some of the entertainingly heartfelt animated goods you’d expect from a non-Pixar animated tale. Kids will love it, but to see GNOMEO AND JULIET is to know exactly what happened to all the mushrooms in the garden. The writers ate ‘em…and then decided to make this movie.

THE EAGLE (C-)

2011-02-11T09:27:00.000-08:00

Starring: Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell and Donald Sutherland

Rated: PG-13

Story: In 140 AD, two men - master and slave - venture beyond the edge of the known world on a dangerous and obsessive quest that will push them beyond the boundaries of loyalty and betrayal, friendship and hatred, deceit and heroism. (Focus Features)

Bottom Line: If you’re looking for an action-packed, blood-soaked, Gladiator-esque adventure…then go rent GLADIATOR. This movie doesn’t soar, but if you’re okay with a way too long, half-decently acted, get-to-the-point-already, overly-dialogued, sword-and-sandals, bloodletting, wannabe knock-off then you might be on par with THE EAGLE.

SANCTUM (D)

2011-02-04T07:22:00.000-08:00

Starring: Richard Roxburgh, Ioan Gruffudd and Rhys Wakefield

Executive Produced by: James Cameron

Rated: R

Story: Master diver Frank McGuire has explored the South Pacific's Esa-ala Caves for months. But when his exit is cut off in a flash flood, Frank's team--including 17-year-old son Josh and financier Carl Hurley--are forced to radically alter plans. With dwindling supplies, the crew must navigate an underwater labyrinth to make it out. Soon, they are confronted with the unavoidable question: Can they survive, or will they be trapped forever? (Universal Pictures)

Bottom Line: I hope you’ve all seen Best Picture nominee 127 HOURS – the one with the trapped climber who tries to free himself. …because that movie is phenomenal and SANCTUM, about trapped climbers/divers, is not. It’s produced by James Cameron but the 3D is a complete waste of time and the movie is plagued with bad acting, cheesy dialogue and a whole lot of predictability. There’s a little tension to be had but you can get more intensity from anything available on the Discovery Channel or an episode of The Road Runner. A few couple of cool turns give SANCTUM a chance to catch a few quick breathes but ultimately can’t save this waterlogged, dog-paddler from sinking like a stone.

2011 OSCAR PREVIEW

2011-01-28T12:26:00.000-08:00

What’s opening this week (THE MECHANIC with Jason Statham and THE RITE with Anthony Hopkins) should be of little importance to many of you. What concerns me is the number of fantastic movies currently in theaters or available on dvd/Bluray that many have not taken the time to see. That being said…

…let’s talk Oscars! Nominations were announced earlier this week and there’s still time to catch many of the films who were lucky enough to receive a nod… Below please find the top categories, films nominated, where they’re available, my original letter grade and who I think (at this point) will be victorious when the winners are announced on Sunday, February 27 on ABC Television.

BEST PICTURE
• BLACK SWAN A still in theaters
• THE FIGHTER B+ still in theaters
• INCEPTION A available on dvd/bluray
• THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT B available on dvd/bluray
• THE KING’S SPEECH B+ still in theaters CURRENT PREDICTED WINNER: PART I
• 127 HOURS A- still in theaters
• THE SOCIAL NETWORK A available on dvd/bluray CURRENT PREDICTED WINNER: PART II
• TOY STORY 3 A+ available on dvd/bluray
• TRUE GRIT A- still in theaters
• WINTER’S BONE A- available on dvd/bluray

BEST DIRECTOR
• Darren Aronofsky (BLACK SWAN)
• David O. Russell (THE FIGHTER)
• Tom Hooper (THE KING’S SPEECH) CURRENT PREDICTED WINNER: PART I
• David Fincher (THE SOCIAL NETWORK) CURRENT PREDICTED WINNER: PART II
• Joel and Ethan Coen (TRUE GRIT)

BEST ACTOR
• Javier Bardem (BIUTIFUL)
• Jesse Eisenberg (THE SOCIAL NETWORK)
• Colin Firth (THE KING’S SPEECH) CURRENT PREDICTED WINNER
• James Franco (127 HOURS)
• Jeff Bridges (TRUE GRIT)

BEST ACTRESS
• Annette Bening (THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT)
• Nicole Kidman (RABBIT HOLE)
• Jennifer Lawrence (WINTER’S BONE)
• Natalie Portman (BLACK SWAN) CURRENT PREDICTED WINNER
• Michelle Williams (BLUE VALENTINE)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
• Christian Bale (THE FIGHTER) CURRENT PREDICTED WINNER
• John Hawkes (WINTER’S BONE)
• Jeremy Renner (THE TOWN)
• Mark Ruffalo (THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT)
• Geoffrey Rush (THE KING’S SPEECH)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
• Amy Adams (THE FIGHTER)
• Helena Bonham Carter (THE KING’S SPEECH)
• Melissa Leo (THE FIGHTER) CURRENT PREDICTED WINNER
• Hailee Steinfeld (TRUE GRIT)
• Jacki Weaver (ANIMAL KINGDOM)

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
• ANOTHER YEAR
• THE FIGHTER
• INCEPTION CURRENT PREDICTED WINNER
• THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
• THE KING’S SPEECH

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
• 127 HOURS
• THE SOCIAL NETWORK CURRENT PREDICTED WINNER
• TOY STORY 3
• TRUE GRIT
• WINTER’S BONE